Blessing

You can call me brain dead
Coz I’ve got some vain veins
Countless spots in the insane scans
They look like microscopic yin-yangs
If I describe their transparent appearance

You might stare at me why I’m showcasing this story
It’s just my way to walk on this unending staircase mindfully
It’s my way to create the space, it’s sort of my own therapy

Brain hemorrhage on the right side had brought me to 3 hospitals in 2019
I was told I was close to die when the neurosurgeon detected a second bleeding
This critical sickness had loaded me with a new baggage of mental instability
I had to relearn how to sit, stand, move, focus, sense, grip through different therapies
The nights were crazy tough with restlessness, body pain & arrows in my head feeling

Now let me switch off the lights to show you a sparked scene
One day I was sitting on a chair in my hospital room to eat my evening meal
Later I wanted to simply relax after taking those heavy pills
But I fell off my chair when I tried to stand up on my unsteady feet
I took the chair down as well coz I had absolutely no balance in me

I was struggling to elevate myself with no tactile sensation in my left arm & hand
So I started to slowly crawl on the floor towards my elevation bed
The climb to reach my bed was hard as if I were climbing the Mount Everest
Sweat on my face but I did pull myself up against the gravitational shreds
At this point I realized, I was very sick & quite damaged

I started to ask several questions to myself
Would I be able to speak with the same depth?
Would I be able to walk without losing the balance?
Would I be able to work just like the old days?
Would I be there for my loving family?
Or am I nearing the death bed, this is it – the end?
Tears began to fall coz the new state wasn’t easy to comprehend

Trip-Track was the subconscious sign prior to the bleeding I visioned
It’s a poem that came to me before this all actually happened
I felt the bleeding had a purpose, there was definitely a deeper reason
Perhaps the highest source had decided to reset my seasons
Perhaps it wanted to shock & shake me to awaken my senses

So now you know why I’m sharing this old incident
It’s not about gaining sympathy or feeling sorry for myself
It’s to see above & beyond the eye’s strength
It’s about the deeper calling & to embrace the present
It’s a blessing that I’m still wearing this body as a sacred present

To order my poetry collection – Lightning Rhymes, please  click here ✨

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

©2022 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.
Photo taken by myself with an overlay of my scan from Nov 2019.

30 thoughts on “Blessing”

    1. Thank you for your kind words, David…I’m glad that we’re connected through this wonderful poetry community ✨❤️💫

  1. Oh Navin…this is an exquisite write…Your history, your truth shared with your readers in such an open and intimate way.. Your descriptions are so vivid…it does not take much to imagine that fall, that climb (like climbing up Everest) back into your bed. One can only imagine, the pain , the fear, the feelings of frustration and doubt you would even make it back…to your work, your family, your life before. Thank you for sharing your life,your medical emergency, your struggle back to life. How beautifully satisfying to see…you made it back and you brought with you clear knowledge of why this might have happened to you..and after all you went through, the good changes you feel it has brought to you after all the pain, and fear and weakness you experienced. Thank you for this amazing piece of you. Thank you for letting us all in a little bit more into your core.🤗❤️🙏🦋

    1. Dear Karima, thank you so very much for your heartfelt words…I’m deeply touched…it took me some time to reply…I had to soak the words in me…I had to write a poem about this particular episode…the whys & the whats were very active through my pain-body when I was living this scene…but at the same time, I could also see clearly why this all had happened to me…that vision truly helped me coz I’ve always believed, things happen for a reason…sometimes, the highest source needs to give such a shock to say “hey buddy, it’s time to wake up”…the learnings & the knowing…thank you very much for reading my lines, connected to my state & for your wonderful support ✨🙏💫❤️🤗

  2. Wow Navin I love the capture of your poem right off the bat. So good, so honest, so raw, giving hope and courage with your incredible commitment and strength! I love your poem so well done! Excellent job! 💖👏👏👏

    1. Thank you very much for your kind, supportive & heartfelt words, dear Cindy…this means a lot to me ✨🙏💫❤️

      1. You’re so welcome and it’s most deserved Navin! I’m happy to hear that. Do me a favor and lmk if you are seeing me in reader today. 💖💖🙏🙏

        1. I’m can see your posts in notifications, Cindy…you’re also appearing when I enter your site in search / Reader ✨❤️💫

  3. Dear friend Navin, firstly all I want to offer in response to your poem is Sacred Silence. In humble honor to the exquisiteness of this treacherous journey to (y)our own brilliance. It is a precious gift you offer by giving your readers a glimpse into the depths of life your soul chose to travel into – that place which leaves us no choice but to take a perch in our being at a higher vantage point beyond we would ever imagine. To be able to become a witness to our own questions to life itself – will I be ever able to …so many things? Somehow the questions have such affirmative energy underlying, that we find the capacity to rebuild from the most elemental levels – of course we have been broken down to those levels first. Oh no you are clearly not looking for symnpathy or were ever sorry – our sacred Earth Suit is now the one that we have woven once stitch at a time, pricks, pain, blood and all. The triiumph is glorious. All I am ready to say is I have been there, I hear you. And you have inspired me to revisit back and see if I find any willingness to say anything more anytime soon.

    1. You offered Sacred Silence & this is what I connected to after reading your profound words…one of the reasons that it has taken me time to respond…every single time I would read your words, I would go silent…coz I sea what you say…your words would settle down in me peacefully just like the water…right in this moment, I felt it’s time to reply…my reply is filled with silence, gratitude, respect & love, dear friend…”Somehow the questions have such affirmative energy underlying, that we find the capacity to rebuild from the most elemental levels – of course we have been broken down to those levels first.”…how beautifully & wisely said…this alone tells me that you’ve been there – the sacred path you are today…I’m honoured that I was able to inspire you in some way…I love “our sacred Earth Suit”…my gratitude to you for reading my lines with the eyes of your I & for writing yours with the pen of The Wise, Pragalbha ✨

      1. I recieve the SIlence back from you and it feels rich to be with.

        It is so good to be present in these moments, and then no more words to offer – a deep recognition, acknowledgement, the heart smiles 🙂

  4. I love sharing stories. Speaking my own, but more so hearing others speak with courage about their own. To recognise, choose, and see the progress which exists. Truly you are blessed in many ways my friend.

    Prayers to you for continued hope and creativity for me if your enlightening poetry. 🧡

    1. My gratitude to you for your wonderful & heartfelt words…it’s kind of you…I wish I could read your stories…but you appear as Anonymous with no link to your blog…do know that I’m grateful for you passing by my site 🙏✨💟💫

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