Poem is me… Disappear

So I’m lying down on my bed right here
While I hear my thoughts in my own ears
Oh dear, it’s crazy to listen to my song of fears
If it keeps playing in my ears, I’ll surely be in tears
If you wish to feel what’s going on with me
You need to take the hot seat in my brain to understand this
My brain is burning with thoughts & is bleeding ink

A few questions are playing constantly whenever I go to sleep
Why is it so difficult to accept the new me?
Why do I gaze at the dark skies & then I scream?
Why am I having this desperate craving to see the unseen?
Why am I longing for the things that can never be with me?
Why am I feeling lonely as if nobody is here?
Why am I run over by anxiety that I start breathing heavily?
Why am I dreaming so crazy with no sleep?
Why the feeling to disappear from this manic scene?

This life of mine in this moment appears so steep
Trying to think deeply without my sharp memory
The creepy feeling of crawling on my own skin
I’m loosing my balance but still I’m walking with crazy speed
Feeling frustrated, so everything is changing to this bloody scene
The demons are hammering & breaking the inside of me
The heart beat has transformed to this tainted beast
The music in my ears has now changed its beat
So I would rather disappear than to be here
You can no longer see me coz I’ve disappeared from me

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Related: A Poem: From unchecked fear (1). Found poem: Fear (2). About a poem called fear. Making the fear disappear.

5 thoughts on “Poem is me… Disappear

  1. Those last lines burn a truth not many will hopefully ever not have to experience to never have to understand. XOXO Sharp!

      1. I tend to think many hadn’t made it over the hurdle to share what there is other than what we see w/these veiny eyes of ours…smirk…the breath is an interesting sensation…wouldn’t you agree? I still don’t smoke tobacco. I had a few puffs on a swisher sweet rolled pipe tobacco & was an interesting sensation that I don’t care to repeat….and am blessed to be free of something I knew not the total ramifications on my daily routine….nice to see the difference. I hope to be allowed to keep reading as your journey progresses …much love my flowic….I offer friendship as you bring the courage and strength to allow the difference to be of acceptance…right?? You are very wise & kind Flowic!

  2. I believe in What You Believe Is What You See…from the eyes of hurt…the gut feeling…yeah, breath is an interesting sensation…I’m blessed to be a friend of yours…and following your crazy & profound journey as well…you…your life…you are divine…the light…with a pure heart…much love

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