Firing Shots

Another not feel good poem because that’s my present state of mind. I can’t drink alcohol due to epilepsy, which is perhaps a good thing. I want to simply forget everything by being drunk, even though it’s running away. Don’t we sometimes need to run from ourselves?

I’m firing shots at my brain
Planning to play the refrain
The need to repeat to regain
The need to change the savage to a sage
The need to restrain the rage from my brain
To stop my mind to be insane
Coz I don’t want to end up on the operative scene

The sudden desire to find some strong alcohol
To drink & dance away the pain on some new melodies & some old
To kill the kill spot from the top zone
To block the worry from the contacts to make it unknown
To loose myself completely by being not so cold
It’s dragging me down to this deep & dark hole
But it’s not possible to drink coz I’m stuck with taking this crazy epilepsy dose

The thoughts I need to picture
The theme I sketch, looks like a clipart
The things I tell myself to make it visual
I need to make biggger changes to redesign & to restructure
I need to heal the inner space to build this stable fixture
I might burn a bit of me from the sparks through friction
But I must do it anyway, coz life ain’t no fiction

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8 thoughts on “Firing Shots”

  1. far from fiction…nothing as rel as this could be imagined before hand. Much Love Flowic…frustration I hope purging it is helping {hugs}

  2. It all has a dark undertone. Is poetry your way to address your negativity? I am usually unable to do poetry when I am feeling blue or frustrated. Yes proses do come out often. God bless. Keep writing.

    1. You may call it negativity…I call it when it’s difficult for me to handle my patterns…when I’m frustrated…anxious…not able to deal with the situation…writing poems is my own therapy…but I don’t only write about so called “negativity”…you may find some other kinds aa well…I’m sure you’ll also able to write when you’re frustrated…just a small suggestion…simply accept the moment…feel how you feel…without trying to fix anything…your “pen” will simply start writing how you feel…in your own way 🙏❤️

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