Pills, Pieces & Peace

I am going crazy in my mind, tired in my body & loosing energy. Pain in my body, unable to sleep & epilepsy is making me to take quite heavy cocktail of pills – medication.

Taking the strong epilepsy pills twice a day since I’ve got the cramps
Every night painkiller & anti histamin join this insane party of flashy pills
Feeling doped but I still can’t sleep or get rid of the body pain
Hoping this all will soon end coz I don’t want to be pills’ dependent

Pills are keeping a few things away from me
But they’re also poisoning me slowly
So many chemicals in my body flowing, pure impurity
Don’t have enough energy to handle them & still remain me

The feeling of moving 2 steps forward & 1 backward
It’s not that things aren’t moving on the right path
But it doesn’t mean I feel normal as I used to be
Perhaps that’s the meaning to redefine & redesign me

Sometimes it’s irritating when I can’t hold the things with my left hand as I used to be
Every other day I’m breaking something into pieces, that brings the frustration into me
But I’m not giving up & I won’t coz keep failing is the way of learning
Mesmerized at the same time how brain has affected me physically & mentally

The feeling of handicap comes & goes when I can’t do the things I used to
Struggling to do the small things that used to be so normal back then to me
Where I never had to think of “how to” or “now let me see”
I must drop the phrase “that I used to be” coz I need to rewire to reach where I used to be

At times I feel the heavy burden on the whole family
Just want to break down this wall with my left fist & want to scream
Until every single brick gets crushed or falls apart
Where I retain my balance without my brain makes me feel dizzy

Don’t tell me it’s very normal
Don’t tell me this is how it is
Don’t tell me it’s a part of the process
Don’t tell me I’m not getting crazy

No, I’m not writing so you feel bad about me
No, sympathy is the last thing I need
Perhaps this is the reminder to be thankful for every single thing
It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small or very simple thing

I’m calm & determined but restless & annoyed at the same time
Complex but that’s what’s going on
Still learning to accept my situation
Where the key is patience & inner peace
They can’t be found anywhere but in the burning core of this human being

If you liked this post please like, comment here and follow Navin’s poetry on social media.


© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

7 thoughts on “Pills, Pieces & Peace”

        1. The pleasure is all mine. You’re a great writer….Already loving what you write….how you express…from your heart…whatever it may be….If we were plain, things would boring…craziness is that extra spice we all need….it’s the quality. Much love ❤️

  1. I really appreciate your kindness! I honestly have no idea what I’m doing, I just like to write whatever pops in my head, it is extremely cathartic for me. I have always written to get the words out but never shared until I started this wp blog. I agree, craziness makes things interesting and spicy sometimes lol You are an incredible person and I love the raw intensity of your writing ❤

  2. I can sense from your writings…they are coming from the true place…the heart…Keep writing….keep sharing

    Thank you very much for your kind words. I write what I feel, realize, experience….the poem comes to me than I plan to think & write a poem…They are quite therapeutic…Much love ❤️

Leave a Reply