A poem.. Sadness

My days have started becoming so gloomy
The inside of me is shadowed by dark clouds & it’s raining
The picture I see these days from my window is so blurry
The scenes that were normal once look so tainted & obscene
The steps I’m taking in the present have become so heavy

The feeling of being messed up & broken is strong
Whatever I do seems very wrong
The way I talk & tackle things as if I’m about to break & shout
Peace in my head is so distant, seems like a long shot
My brain is crazier than ever & is stressed out
Blood is dripping from my numb finger & I don’t feel the cut from the knife so sharp

I’m getting better but am simply so annoyed
The chemicals my brain then creates & deploys
They kill me inside out & then I appear so void
The pain body that I’ve been trying to avoid
The harder I try, the faster I fall without even flying
The glass shatters into several pieces with that clinking sound crying

Isolated myself willingly, coz people around me get affected but now I feel left alone
Sadness is crawling on my surface & choking gently my throat
Suffocating me slowly & I’m feeling quite sore
The tears from my heart are simply tearing me apart

I’m loosing my senses coz I want to go back to normal & go back to my job
I ain’t ready yet but I don’t know either when I’d really start
Perhaps it’s just another day, where I’m falling & tasting the dust
I keep telling myself, nothing is permanent & this difficult time will also pass
I must remain focused every moment, else the anxiety & sadness will rust me down
I know God has given me this opportunity to heal, it’s the biggest wake up call
So why to waste such a golden chance, when I can finally correct the default

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4 thoughts on “A poem.. Sadness

  1. Sorrow turns turbulent inner rage that slowly ripples out of our control & others are forced to ride our waves as we try to figure out the folds to the pain body waking up in this way how did things get so feeling disarray is this truly what has been last to portray or the venting and cleansing of the frustrations that are bound to try and hinder our being through out the day….your path has a challenge many will never know the burden of being crazy and sane plus to remember that it is the beauty for not many to receive such pain…they’d go further insane? IDK…You will keep healing…Much love & please give yourself the compassion to mend in time….as the body needs…blessed be my flowic friend…thank you for allowing me to join your journey!

    1. Thank you for your kind words….it seems like you are the only person that understand what’s going on with me….tears in my eyes….you’ll always be my flowic friend….thanks f i d listening to my outrage….pain….phase….much love

      1. A certain amount of defiance to not bow out….and that’s what I marvel about you…and learn as well to take note on how to handle the pain and suffering amongst the blessings found on this intense path. In my travels [only once over seas/asia] western society is not very versed in the healing of our bodies…but turning a profit which clouds the judgment of those to ‘perform’ the care. We are our best healers…just some of us don’t have the tribe to help w/direction. lol…..I am glad i offer a sense of connection because that’s how I’ve felt w/our connection that …another reason for us to wonder which is all part of life to live. Much Love Flowic….My thoughts are running wild & I know you’ll know what I mean in this mix…Much Love

        1. It’s only us, who are in control of our bodies….you’ve got it right that we’re our best healers….though it sometimes is difficult to see & sense it coz our pain bodies are very active….I know exactly what you mean in this mix…mail me if you’ve something in your heart….but pls don’t let loose your wild thoughts in any other manner than in the form of poems….Much love

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