Surrender

It’s like knowing the perfect recipe to heal, but keep struggling to cook it to perfection, is what I truly feel. The pictures on my real & tainted screen, keep changing from shallow to the deep, before everything explodes with just a simple breeze, where I loose my patience & forget how to evenly breathe, it’s just not the same story on auto-repeat. This is what happening in real life to me, this is how I these days actually live.

“Just let it go
Don’t hold on to it
Accept the new situation
Keep healing yourself”

Believe me, I know this all
I’m trying to be that whole
But I’m bleeding ink through these holes
As if I’m about to loose my breath & my soul

Immaterial things agitate me to the core
Improper actions are creating infections that sore
Immortal is my rage when I become the evil raw
Imbalanced energy in me is shaking everybody & even more

The feeling of sharp nails pierced in my head
Just before when I get the sensation of not being really heard
Brings forth the crazy moment to detonate my mind into pieces to spread this hurt
And turn whatever I’ve built mindfully into the cloud of dust

I know, inner healing takes its form in the course of time
But what if everything comes to an end while I bleed out every coarse of mine?
What if my screen break loose my hell & there’s no ocean to cry?
What if the scene gets darker while I keep destroying everyone’s life?

So I sit still on the bench in my garden & start to ponder
What’s happening to me & why am I doing these blunders?
Why is my heart causing lightning after the roaring thunder?
That moment I learn, I’m still learning to walk this path to unconditional love & to surrender

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20 thoughts on “Surrender”

    1. Exactly….hence I started the poem with those lines….but bleeding & the side effect of epilepsy meds make it worse as I, from time to time can’t control my irritation…

    1. We all can be preachers at times…people do talk from their experiences of their lives…so it’s OK if they suggest, I don’t mind…but when mind is the issue, just like the brain of mine…so, things can be extra difficult, coz sometimes I’m ready to explode just like those red diamond mines

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