I’m going back in time when I was in my 20s. How insecured I was, didn’t know what to do with my life & in which direction I wanted to move. I was an engineering student at that time, so it’s quite obvious my world was rotating around it. Commuting in train, staying at hostel, having headaches from time to time, fear of “what ifs”, expectations and what not. This is a walk into my own head; my thoughts, my life, to understand & have compassion.
I was about to drop dead on my bed
But then I took a walk into my shed
That led to this fine old thread
I used back then to sew the cuts when I bled
I did slit open my fingers with the shaving blade
To self check, if my blood was thick & still very red
My path seemed so blurry in those photochromic spects
I had sleepless nights & then those crazy headaches
I felt as if I were sometimes spitting fire & some lead
I know you’re trying to paint the picture but you seem perplexed
You won’t understand what was going on in my 20s brain
There were times when I was completely drained
And on top, those frequent rides in the slow moving trains
Unsure what I wanted to do with so much stuff in my bag
Heavy burden on my shoulders & on those two skinny legs
But how would you ever catch up if you never lagged?
Coz there were times when my life was in jet lag phase
This is just not a phrase as I was really afraid
I would look in the mirror & ask who’s that unknown face
Now last thing I must tell you before I close this door with a bang
It’s OK if you judge me because I don’t give a damn
I know quite well, who I was back then & who I really am
Crazy drills & soul searching is one of my recipes to sustain
I am just a normal man, who’s vein gets sometimes jammed
Open your mind & heart and perhaps then you would understand
It’s not just me but everyone has that sort of shady shed
The only way to come out is to go deep inside your very own crazy shed
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