I was taking shower while I was asking these questions to myself. I was trying to understand what was going on. I was feeling anxious, crazy & was panicking. Doctors told my wife & me that I could’ve died when I got bleeding in bleeding. I was simply freaking out, picturing the worst pictures. Then I started taking deep breaths to come out of my head, to simply reconnect.
Questioning myself while showering under the tap
How long do I have to take the heavy epilepsy tabs?
How long will it take me to regain my balance & strength?
Would I get my sensation completely back?
Would my brain reroute the signals to reconnect?
All these thoughts are making me crazy & insane
Feel like screaming so loud that the window might get some cracks
Someone please seal my lips so tight with that sticky black tape
These thoughts are stabbing me deeply & my clotted-sickened brain
It feels like the range of patience has changed to that little picture in the frame
I still get shocked that I could’ve ended up on my deathbed
My condition was so bad that I could’ve left my family & this nest
So I’m trying to calm myself down but it’s not always in my hands
When such thoughts take over me, I become the victim of my own psycho head
I can feel that my memory has simply weakend as well
On a Monday I said to someone, have a very good weekend
I know it’s normal after the bleeding in the corner of my head
But it still annoys me, what’s happening, I ain’t a thick head
Therapies are helping me extensively to repair my body & to fix my head
Closing my eyes for a while after daily exercises & taking some deep breaths
Thoughts disappear instantly & I regain my inner strength
Start moving towards the stars without looking back at my tracks
I must close my eyes more often to find inner peace & to come out of my head
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