Crazy Me

I’m here to tell you a crazy story
So stay tuned to hear something different & perhaps, a bit nasty
I promise though, it’s not gonna be ever lasting
The boiling water will disappear from my surface after vaporizing

Let me write the disclaimer very clearly
I’m neither telling it to attack someone nor to gain any sympathy
My body is burning & my vision is sort of blurry
It’s my way to cool down, this is my own therapy

I go by different names these days
It’s not a shock when I hear the name calling anyways
I admit, I could be all that upto a certain extent
I’m not here to explain the reasons, coz you won’t get them from where you stand

I’ve been called angry, an asshole, fucked up, impatient & lazy
Mr. Stress, short tempered, stubborn & unhappy are a few more to top this list
I could be even more if you only play to pinch my outer skin
To judge me from far far away, without knowing me deep within

I’ve heard that I hit, I hurt & I offend with my razor sharp words
I must be a devilish curse, that forge the course with my crooked force
That pokes the thin surface with trident till they bleed out their inner souls
That degrades in the end, Jesus blood into some cheap wine, that too is sort of corked

I misunderstand things repeatedly & a few people regret knowing me
I even put words in their mouth coz I’m so foul & freakin’ mean
Isn’t it always easier to play this game of pointing finger & blaming?
So I’m simply going to let this insanity pass through me

I’m typing the letters I-C by myself, you see
Translation – I feel Insanely-Crazy, not Icy
My brain is so heavy & my nerves are yet to connect with my body
So, I’m trying to change these beastie beats to the inner peace

I don’t wish anyone to be in my situation
But have a tiny understanding to understand my condition
It’s not easy to stand on either sides to find the balanced solution
At times, it could be confusing, that leads to frustrating dissolution

True, only I can make myself happy & no one can push my trigger but me
But then am I also responsible for others unhappiness & misery?
Where’s the balance now & where’s that teaching?
We can’t practice 24/7 everything, it’s the human nature of acting, reacting & living

I know, I must die several times to live from the deep
But stop accusing me for I don’t get things & so called missssunderstandings
Just don’t put everything on me to overlook the inner hurt & the inner bleeding
Take the responsibility & stand still on the inner grounding

Things could be white & things could be grey
But every single shade is pure in its own beautiful way
Coz none of these shady shades can ever be crazily fake
So don’t mistreat my soft corner in this cracked shell as my weakness, it won’t turn into some crispy flake