It’s kinda crazy when I walk with almost an empty cartridge of this aching cartilage which is making me to lose my already weakened balance to the point of breakage but I still choose not to anchor myself to the hook of conditioned cottage coz all I want is to fall freely from the highest mountain to the deepest surroundings so I can easily harness the limitless energy when I erupt the volcanic traces of my carbonated phases in the floating silence of this oceanic darkness which is the effervescent & organic process to heal the righteous arthritis that’s trying to block the free movement of my invisible & powerful senses
The image version
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Sometimes my screen freezes instantly with slippery breeze of swirling intense seas & then it seems that I’m firmly sealed in this patented Rubik’s C made of patterned cubical bricks where I skip some beats when I forget to simply breathe due to high latency of my wired screams as I’m letting scenes of those caged memories to run through my tears where I fall as leaves in my sleepless dream coz I can’t fall asleep
The image version
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I don’t know what I’m writing while I’m riding on these high & heavy waves coz it feels as if I’m the riot dressed as the dark knight that’s dicing the dark night into the liquid black diamonds to create this crazy environment that appears quite obnoxious as it starts to simply sparkle by the quiet flow of several mercury droplets that are dripping in line on quite uneven ground & merging together to form the contrasting soundless choir
I then choose to close my red eyes to empty this glass filled with edgy violence so I can make some space & listen to the storm of frozen silence that I breathe when I sit on the pilot seat in my once bled brainless but sharp carbon steel mind to take this very long turbulent flight to the figure eight shaped infinite to reach this place somewhere in between darkness & daylight where I start to flip the tinted & blurred slides under the flickering but intense light on this unknown street to reveal this crowded scene of real life
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Darkness and Light Are they states of mind? Light in Darkness Darkness in Light Is it so black & white?
Diving in the Darkness In the womb of Mother Earth To find the safe haven To die and rebirth Where formless is the very Form And timeless is the only Time Darkness in Light What a pure delight
Amidst Thunder and Storm Where the dark Skies roar The inner Volcano is about to explode The blaze of Lightning Penetrates deep in the Heart To burn the Light To show the true path
The power, the beauty, the wildness It is the crazy dance of Light & Darkness
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You know I can’t rap But I want to make a wordwrap And add a pinch of cRap So it’d look kinda eWhack Do you get what you’re about to snack? No, I ain’t smoking no crack
I know this all sounds so bad You’re thinking wtf I am at Isn’t today’s rap sound something like that? There’re only 5 lines that you can count on one hand Playing those lines with auto-tuned voice is the new trend And then they focus on the flashy video to simply distract But it’s all just in their head if they think they got the swag
I’m just sitting on my couch & thinking about Where’s the depth & why am I listening to this sound? They’re missing the lyrics, the rhyming, the hook & the fluid flow I hear no bars & there aren’t no signs of sharp claws You see I don’t need to hit pause on their slow moving train Rewind & then playback, to catch what they just said They’re just mumbling, I don’t get why they say they can rap Pure hip-hop is real-raw, it has nothing to do with mumble-noise
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That nothing is everything when I sense this empty field with my closed eyes & when I sea it with the eyes opened
So often I’m calmly, mindfully, open heartedly surrounded by the surrendering & nurturing nature herbs of this supernatural Universe
Acceptance plays an important role in order to roll forward towards the highest order, which is unconditional love for myself & for the different reflections of me in the form of other human beings in my life that I see in the mirror of my I
High I am not at this or any other point of time where I type systematically the stereotyped lines that might act as the synthetic steroid to my ego muscle that proclaims that I’m the shine of the divine
The sign that I’m trying to light by switching the noise of high screams with the sensitive sound of sighs is to reveal that my ground could be the breathtaking landscape but it could also be the heartbreaking landslide
But to hide in the depths or the heights of the tides is not me & my type even when I can’t subside my pain side that I tend to subconsciously subscribe coz I’m not always able to be in oneness with nothingness
Needless to point this attention at the pointed needle which at times is ready to prick my demons stored in my cloud brain, that are kinda ready to devour every single vowel to break the meaningful words into meaningless carnage
The damage they cause in that coarse course is colossal that it’s close to irreparable but I still prepare myself by prepaying the cost of the vibrational effect from my different reflections by catching my own breath, which in reality is to reconnect with my senses to reset & dissolve my scene in the very present but perhaps it’s already too late coz I feel that I’m sitting with nothing but emptiness
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I’m standing infront of this mirror Looking at my own reflection Light & dark is the appearance The outside is simply shivering The sensation is sort of feverish The inside is burning with lyrics
You see my mind is complex, pyramid It’s kind of unique, mysterious Some paths lead to crazy, delirious A few takes to a dead spot, haemorrhage There’s no escape from there, period But the eye is dripping transparent, spirit
Perception & the ground has changed instantly My I sees & observes microscopic mindfully Jigsawing forms to create meaningful empty Seesawing the thoughts to find the CoG Connecting with the source to sea the deep Stripes on my back coz I’m the still beast
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You can call me brain dead Coz I’ve got some vain veins Countless spots in the insane scans They look like microscopic yin-yangs If I describe their transparent appearance
You might stare at me why I’m showcasing this story It’s just my way to walk on this unending staircase mindfully It’s my way to create the space, it’s sort of my own therapy
Brain hemorrhage on the right side had brought me to 3 hospitals in 2019 I was told I was close to die when the neurosurgeon detected a second bleeding This critical sickness had loaded me with a new baggage of mental instability I had to relearn how to sit, stand, move, focus, sense, grip through different therapies The nights were crazy tough with restlessness, body pain & arrows in my head feeling
Now let me switch off the lights to show you a sparked scene One day I was sitting on a chair in my hospital room to eat my evening meal Later I wanted to simply relax after taking those heavy pills But I fell off my chair when I tried to stand up on my unsteady feet I took the chair down as well coz I had absolutely no balance in me
I was struggling to elevate myself with no tactile sensation in my left arm & hand So I started to slowly crawl on the floor towards my elevation bed The climb to reach my bed was hard as if I were climbing the Mount Everest Sweat on my face but I did pull myself up against the gravitational shreds At this point I realized, I was very sick & quite damaged
I started to ask several questions to myself Would I be able to speak with the same depth? Would I be able to walk without losing the balance? Would I be able to work just like the old days? Would I be there for my loving family? Or am I nearing the death bed, this is it – the end? Tears began to fall coz the new state wasn’t easy to comprehend
Trip-Track was the subconscious sign prior to the bleeding I visioned It’s a poem that came to me before this all actually happened I felt the bleeding had a purpose, there was definitely a deeper reason Perhaps the highest source had decided to reset my seasons Perhaps it wanted to shock & shake me to awaken my senses
So now you know why I’m sharing this old incident It’s not about gaining sympathy or feeling sorry for myself It’s to see above & beyond the eye’s strength It’s about the deeper calling & to embrace the present It’s a blessing that I’m still wearing this body as a sacred present
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