Obviously, a lot is going on in my head these days & that’s why I’m spitting poems quite often. Snapping on people, mood swings, insecurity, frustration, imbalance, heavy epilepsy medicines, no heart connection are playing quite an important role.
I can feel something has changed in me
And it’s just not me who share this opinion about me
Coz I can see that it doesn’t take a lot before I loose control of my scene
If the things aren’t the way I like, then I get very upset & very mean
Then the moments begin where I start nagging & complaining about immaterial things
It’s just right there, I make it worse by snapping over family
Nothing matters to me at that point coz I can’t figure things out
Sometimes I don’t even know what I did wrong & why it’s my fault
Sometimes I wonder why so much smoke coming out from the wooden log
They just look at me in despair & are ready to sob
All I need is my space but the whole space is blinded by this thick fog
So tell me how I can rationalize
If I don’t know I’m about to jeopardize
The relationship & family lives
I’m not that scary monster, ready to eat everyone alive
It pains me to see them suffer
But then why have I become so blunt & why can’t I shut up?
Why can’t I simply use heart as the filter?
To let go of the things which can’t be used as the filler
So I need me to help me out
To find & then sort the things out
To scream in my own ears so loud
To find clear skies behind the darker clouds
All I need is to breathe the air in & then breathe it out
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