I’m sharing my very first spoken word, that I posted on 10th December 2020 on my WordPress blog. I don’t know why I’m doing so all of a sudden but there could be several reasons – from reminiscence to reflection.
The Edge is a poem about my struggles during that time. On 7th November 2019 I was hit by brain hemorrhage on the right side. Over 1 year had passed by but it was definitely not easy for me to fully accept, understand & live with this new reality. The feeling of broken & repaired at the same time. It just didn’t affect me alone but my surroundings as well, including the family. I could see this struggle on my inner screen as flow of images. So I decided to write those images in the form of this freestyle poetry. These words became so intense, at least in my head, that I felt like recording it in my voice. I didn’t know how to create spoken word back then. I didn’t bother searching it either coz I wanted to create this spoken word immediately, with whatever technical knowledge / tools I had. So I recorded my voice on my phone, created a Powerpoint presentation on my laptop, played the voice recording on it, timed the PP slides to sync with my voice & capture this all as a video through a free screen recorder software. I’m presenting the same original spoken word to you all.
Please put sound on…
I sit sharp on the edge of my bench in the dark with a hatchet in my hand to break open my senses & to claim that my pain in the veins is not vain but insane
But I get so mad & a bit sad when I spread metal scraps on myself coz then I bleed the beads so discreet on my crease to decrease the misery
So I feel quite shaky as if my skin is so thin like a leaf & it starts to burn instantly to create the debris that comes out from the heat of the seed
I’m torn at my core that I feel this need to ease & burn my peace into pieces on the street that’s filled with so many deep & some holes unseen
So I scream in infinity with my fluctuating beat coz I can’t simply breathe & it seems I’m the beast hinged to the scene of the shattered dream
I relapse on my screen coz this all feel so diseased when I see this degree of release & then I step explicitly into the bed of fire to become the deceased
But then I focus on to drop my sores with the source of my scope in this hope that one day I’ll for sure end this whole to simply blow everything to the pure
To order my poetry collection – Lightning Rhymes, please click here.
I published my book on 7th November 2021 – exactly 2 years after the bleeding. It’s my second birth or perhaps the first real one.
That nothing is everything when I sense this empty field with my closed eyes & when I sea it with the eyes opened
So often I’m calmly, mindfully, open heartedly surrounded by the surrendering & nurturing nature herbs of this supernatural Universe
Acceptance plays an important role in order to roll forward towards the highest order, which is unconditional love for myself & for the different reflections of me in the form of other human beings in my life that I see in the mirror of my I
High I am not at this or any other point of time where I type systematically the stereotyped lines that might act as the synthetic steroid to my ego muscle that proclaims that I’m the shine of the divine
The sign that I’m trying to light by switching the noise of high screams with the sensitive sound of sighs is to reveal that my ground could be the breathtaking landscape but it could also be the heartbreaking landslide
But to hide in the depths or the heights of the tides is not me & my type even when I can’t subside my pain side that I tend to subconsciously subscribe coz I’m not always able to be in oneness with nothingness
Needless to point this attention at the pointed needle which at times is ready to prick my demons stored in my cloud brain, that are kinda ready to devour every single vowel to break the meaningful words into meaningless carnage
The damage they cause in that coarse course is colossal that it’s close to irreparable but I still prepare myself by prepaying the cost of the vibrational effect from my different reflections by catching my own breath, which in reality is to reconnect with my senses to reset & dissolve my scene in the very present but perhaps it’s already too late coz I feel that I’m sitting with nothing but emptiness
To order my poetry collection – Lightning Rhymes, please click here
Two men were talking outside They weren’t agreeing on something, it’s obvious It then turned into an open & heated quarrel This picture changed its course right away One of the men lost it coz he was unwired His uneasy mind suddenly began to short circuit The feeling to kill other guy, to make him forever quiet He took his gun out & pointed it at this guy’s body
Pap Pap Pause Painful cry And then Pure silence Gunshots were fired Blood all over the place & now that man was quietly lying He got shot on the street in broad daylight
Hang on with me to see another scene, I’m not just rhyming A young kid got his eye on this piece of iron His eyes were fixed on his automatic rifle He’s not happy, so he was simply smiling Deep down he’s actually something planning He was visualizing the scene in his twisted mind He looked at the firearms last time & he switched off the light Next day was the very day he was gonna use the deadly toys He checked everything meticulously in the morning He drove to this school in his car filled with firearms His eyes were dead, he was filled with pure violence He got off the car loaded with bullets & rifle He was walking in the hallway like the storm so soundless
Rat-Tat-Tat Was the sound echoing in the sky Several kids were wounded in the school this time Some of them were already dead & some were slowly dying The horrific bloody scene was so alive Terror Trauma Fear Panic Screams They were hiding & crying At some point 911 was dialled They said cops were on their way, they were soon arriving The skies were then roaring with so many sirens Police & ambulances were coordinating & tactically lining The killer was still spraying bullets like water droplets Maximum destruction in his head, he kept firing Innocent kids covered in blood, they kept dying
Such horrendous incidents every other day has become so common Pap Pap, Rat-Tat-Tat, Bang-Bang are the sounds so common Killings due to disagreements, racism, mental instability & more are so common Gun violence in the name of self protection is so common This abnormal behaviour has become so bloody common Every other person owns the gun is so very common Government condenm such incidents & then move on is so very common Empty talks but no action is the scene so very common
The superpower on the surface of this world but truly powerless at the bottom Not providing a decent life to the citizens ain’t no superpower Trillions of dollars on warfare but poor for own people is the problem Not looking at the root cause to see why this all is happening is the problem Walking blindly on the river of blood & tears is the huge problem Accepting this so very common phenomenon is the very problem 40 k per year on an average dying alone in USA due to crazy gun violence When is it ever gonna end, why are people so helpless & blinded? Open your eyes to bring that change, you’ve got the power
Every single life matters!
There are n number of different scenarios…I’m highlighting only 2 of them…this poem is purely my view…there’s no political agenda…all I’m saying is that this gun violence needs to end…love is all we are & we have…
It’s hard to watch, I sigh Need to stop playing these slides But I can’t hit pause even though I try The dreamy crystals start to melt the eyes The transparent projections of the lonely tide
Images are so vivid on my OCD screen Oh see the scene of my patterns in high density The heart aches at times with sheer intensity My fingers pass through the phase of fluidity The sensation of pure touch is deep within me
Memories are burnt with layered cries The beautiful face & that breathtaking smile The hypnotizing music in the angelic voice Those poems were once dipped in You & I This space is still painted with pure shine
The flipping of the choice in the blink of an eye The zipping of your lines in the case of my mind The tripping of my heart when I sip your vibe The ripping of my parts from the very inside The dripping of my art in the form of these rhymes
Can you root what I’m grounding? Can you sea what I’m riding? Can you feel what I’m writing? Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t expect things All I’m saying is that I’ll always love you, miss
So I key those slides safely inside the ocean of my eyes And I beam these lines freely in the Universe so divine
To order my debut book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here 💫🖤✨
At times I am the bloody riot when my patterns act as a set of sharp plier that explicitly cut the delicate red wire to defuse the useless & quaky quarrel but then everything goes simply haywire and turn into the blues filled with pointy blames of hey & whys when the quiet in me detonates to the disturbed violent which isn’t the same as the conscious choice of pure violet
I can then see the greys in my big brown eyes which is obviously the craze dancing as the burning flames so wild that I start to phrase this scene as my twisted rhyme to simply brush away the pain dipped in colours so intense & loud to simply fall in place at this point in time
But when I sense all this on my screen with my closed eyes then I can tell these are just the shades of my beautiful life where I’m subconsciously digging the grave of my bleeding mind which is caged in the limitless space of the magical open skies coz everything feels so strange to my hidden but very present wise as if I were the rage beasting with my untamed deep voice but I’m just trying to breathe the inner peace in this electric current vibe so I shift the speed to reconnect with the energy of The High
To order my debut book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here 💫🖤✨
Don’t walk like this in your silky skin infront of me Incredible My craving for you is crawling up a mountain frenzy Irresistible You’re looking red hot & my eyes are burning destiny Inflammable
Gaining your trust while I throw you with my rawness on that turf Animal Messing with your mind & body while I pull your messy hair Animal Tearing your peace in pieces while I look deep into your big eyes Animal
Whispering my twisted words in your ears to reach your red crystal Sensitive Sketching on you with my sharp nails to make you whisper pain with your deep vocals Sensual Shaking you intensely to awaken your senses to make a connection with your crying soul Spectacle
Biting your tender flesh slowly to calm my hunger with my hungry teeth Oh, I feel like an animal My lips are sticky & shaded as I taste the thick red that you’re bleeding I think, I’m an animal Even the wind under dark heavens of hell is howling crazy Yeah, I’m an animal
I see you in my mirror & my lens is bleeding red visuals Ahh, I’m so bloodthirsty animal I see you in my shadow & I look like that fiery dragon Wo, I’m so scary animal I see you shattered & scattered all over my dark ground Rahh, I’m so brutal animal I disappear in darkness after killing your dying soul to be one with the new you & eternity Yeah, I am that tainted & untamed animal
To order my debut book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here 💫🖤✨
I’m resting on my grounded bed in the night But I’m simply falling The old scene is playing constantly in my mind Seems my reality My heart is listening to your crystal clear voice I’m surrounded The soft reflection of those beautiful eyes on mine I’m caught in them
The sound of loneliness is so loud It’s so crowded So I close my eyes to disappear in the dark They are now watering I’m shaking & twisting as if I’m entrapped Coz it’s you I’m missing Sinking, sinking, sinking, sinking I’m simply drowning
I’m flowing river of emptiness It’s my longing Taking several painful deep breaths I’m silently sobbing Night has never been so heavy & long It’s close to morning Accepting & surrendering to the now There’s a deeper meaning
I’m bleeding, writing, tearing, living Calmly Atleast I’m blessed to miss someone Like crazy Connecting with the beautiful energy Spiritually And I keep loving, loving, loving, loving her Quietly
To order my debut book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here 💫🤍✨
The sign I sight seems like the cyanide of my sigh night with my dimmed & silent eyesight
I begin to sideline the landslide by sending the signals to my left side of my semi numb site
The rain eyes then start to paint the canvas bigger than the pain size to simply pen down the new rhymes as I freestyle
The words I spill in a deep pan to sauté the deep pain when I hammer the membrane to drain out the red diamonds from my dead veins to clot memory in this time frame when I mind game the clueless crossword mindfully that cross ways on my grounding like the crossed waves from different spots of my cloud brain
But then the divine decided to stand in my eyeline when I started to deice the deep voice week wise by this device that divides the deep lines when I recite & resize the precise to free size with the iris of my big eyes that’s lightening my steep choice by lightning from the deep sky to make space for this beautiful U & I of this UnIverse that’s nothing but the pure light
To order my debut book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here 💫🤍✨
I am honoured to share that my poem – The Slate is published at MasticadoresUSA. My utmost gratitude to dear Gabriela Marie Milton and the entire team at MasticadoresUSA for publishing this piece.
The Slate
Staring at this empty slate Want to scribble my current state But heart isn’t ready Mind is talking crazy Simply can’t breathe And on top, am about to scream Want to break that screen Why do I feel so aggressive? Or am I simply just possessive? But I know am worked up & explosive
This noise in my head Want me to seriously shed The ray of blood shade But it ain’t make no sense So I try to take a nap But thoughts make me react The role I then enact The throbbing in my chest As if I’m on this unending chase Don’t know where it would take I feel my life is on stake My whole body starts to shake Grass is full of deadly snakes….
