The Slate

I’m feeling angry, quite aggressive, in pain, having difficulty in falling asleep as the things are running in my mind like a movie. I’m feeling fed up by listening to the same old & fake stories. They’re freaking me out & I want to delete them forever from the slate. All of a sudden that anger started disappearing as I could feel, it’s not worth it. What would I gain? A free bird in my mind, flying high in clear sky, dissolved everything, that was on fire. It calmed me down instantly.

Staring at this empty slate
Want to scribble my current stat
But heart isn’t ready
Mind is talking crazy
Simply can’t breathe
And on top, am about to scream
Want to break that screen
Why do I feel so aggressive?
Or am I simply possessive?
But I know am worked up & explosive

This noise in my head
Want me to seriously shed
The ray of blood shade
And the desire to spread
The infectious lead
But it ain’t make no sense
So I try to take a nap
But thoughts make me react
The role I then enact
The throbbing in my chest
As if I’m on this unending chase
Don’t know where it would take
I feel my life’s on stake
My whole body starts to shake
Grass is full of deadly snakes

But is it all in my head?
My mind’s playing brain dead
So I take the knife in my hand
To cut this inner pain
In a hope to retain
The things I lost back then
But what would I really gain?
It’s not like I had the holy grail
Would I still give a damn?
To build that shattered old dam

It’s not really a simple game
When you ain’t snipers aim
You’ve been living in shallow fame
The stories you surely did tell
I’ll erase it one day from your slate
You see our talents are innate
But I don’t believe in checkmate
It’s not the way I want to relate
Coz your inside is so cheap
Have you ever tried to dig deep?
Sometimes I feel you a creep
And then you say, I am so freak
But should I be up the creek?
It all makes me question & think
While my eyes stop to blink
What’s the point of bonds & links?
Am I imprisoned in me with those links?
Why my world seems to shrink?

But then I see a little lively bird
Flying high in clear sky with no dirt
It lives in now & with no hurt
The pain disappears with a single sigh
The deeper calling to fly high
The eyes deep ocean in true joy
The feeling is beautiful & so divine
The sun has been shining very bright
I think I’ve got it somewhat right
The pure moment without that knife
The pieces of puzzle, I mean this life
The mountains, I feel I can climb
You see, this ain’t just a rhyme
It’s a story of my inner fight
But now it’s time to clean my slate
And go to bed before it gets too late

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Happy b’day my dearest

This poem is dedicated to my beloved wife on her birthday. India is the country, people connect with spirituality. But it’s her, who’s put me to this track of spiritual journey with her love, support & guiding me to feel & live this life.

So many years have passed by

You are still present by my side

The true reason of change in me

Is your sacred heart setting me free

Never thought to have this life

You are the one, you my wife

My heart simply melts down to its core

The way our beautiful kids say “min mor”

The shine in your big blue eyes

Say everything, there are no lies

The passion you are my dearest

Is the heart that beats in the chest

Today’s the day you were born

Happy birthday my love, it’s time to reborn

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© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.