Heavy Eclipse

My patterns (the small green heart) are controlling me (the big pink heart, which is pure love) in this moment. Everything looks gloomy & I feel angry & somewhat insane. My pulse is quite high & my heart is simply pounding. My whole world is crashing & I’m having difficulty in falling asleep. My heart, joy, warmth – my life feels like an eclipse to me. All of a sudden, I hear the deeper calling & my heavy eclipse starts to disappear. It’s like I missed the mobile network for some time (scary in today’s world) but then the signal (the sacred connection) is re-established.

Things are getting kinda heavy in the now
I feel, I’m drowning deep underground
Want to disappear before I turn into a blood thirsty hound
To catch my breath without that heavy sound
And to find the inner peace & my deeper ground

My world seems plain & a bit insane these days 
Perhaps it’s my eyes covered in the shadow haze
My favorite colour blue is turning into this gloomy shade
Burning all my energy but still can’t keep up the pace
My heart is beating heavy drums while I walk in a daze
I want to believe it’s all unreal & it’s just a phase

You see, the small green is eclipsing the infinite pink
The thoughts are on the brink of the insanity & suffering 
The mind draws me to this dungeon, where demon is the king 
And words are written on its  rough surface with my dark red ink
The pain body appears so fresh even though its condition isn’t mint

May be I’m simply just dreaming 
Or may be this has a deeper meaning 
Where I find myself wandering the unending scene
Where the Gods too have the darker side or so it seems
And the Demons on the other hand, aren’t all that mean
They face each other & separated by this radiant seam

It’s burning everything into nothing
This place where I’ve reached has No-things
The deeper calling with no screaming
Where the screen in my head stops blinking
The song of my life that I’ve been singing
It brings me back to the surface & stops me from sinking
The eclipse disappears to reveal the heart that’s beating
It’s the moment where the heavy melts down to the very being

If you liked this post please like, comment here and follow Navin’s poetry on social media.

FacebookInstagramTwitterLinkedIn

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

The Shed

I’m going back in time when I was in my 20s. How insecured I was, didn’t know what to do with my life & in which direction I wanted to move. I was an engineering student at that time, so it’s quite obvious my world was rotating around it. Commuting in train, staying at hostel, having headaches from time to time, fear of “what ifs”, expectations and what not. This is a walk into my own head; my thoughts, my life, to understand & have compassion.

I was about to drop dead on my bed
But then I took a walk into my shed
That led to this fine old thread
I used back then to sew the cuts when I bled
I did slit open my fingers with the shaving blade
To self check, if my blood was thick & still very red

My path seemed so blurry in those photochromic spects
I had sleepless nights & then those crazy headaches
I felt as if I were sometimes spitting fire & some lead
I know you’re trying to paint the picture but you seem perplexed
You won’t understand what was going on in my 20s brain
There were times when I was completely drained
And on top, those frequent rides in the slow moving trains

Unsure what I wanted to do with so much stuff in my bag
Heavy burden on my shoulders & on those two skinny legs
But how would you ever catch up if you never lagged?
Coz there were times when my life was in jet lag phase
This is just not a phrase as I was really afraid
I would look in the mirror & ask who’s that unknown face

Now last thing I must tell you before I close this door with a bang
It’s OK if you judge me because I don’t give a damn
I know quite well, who I was back then & who I really am
Crazy drills & soul searching is one of my recipes to sustain
I am just a normal man, who’s vein gets sometimes jammed
Open your mind & heart and perhaps then you would understand
It’s not just me but everyone has that sort of shady shed
The only way to come out is to go deep inside your very own crazy shed

If you liked this post please like, comment here and follow Navin’s poetry on social media.

FacebookInstagramTwitterLinkedIn

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.