This Animal is Back

This poem is about the wild animal in me, who’s attracted to another “animal” – the rage mixed with pain and sensuality mixed with deep & raw side. Have you never felt like this animal?

Don’t walk like this in your silky skin infront of me
Incredible
My craving for you is crawling up a mountain frenzy
Irresistible
You’re looking red hot & my eyes are burning destiny
Inflammable

Gaining your trust while I throw you with my rawness on that turf
Animal
Messing with your mind & body while I pull your messy hair
Animal
Tearing your peace in pieces while I look deep into your big eyes
Animal

Whispering my twisted words in your ears to reach your red crystal
Sensitive
Sketching on you with my sharp nails to make you whisper pain with your deep vocals
Sensual
Shaking you intensely to awaken your senses to make a connection with your crying soul
Spiritual

Biting your tender flesh slowly to calm my hunger with my hungry teeth
Oh, I feel like an animal
My lips are sticky & shaded as I taste the thick red that you’re bleeding
I think, I’m an animal
Even the wind under dark heavens of hell is howling crazy
Yeah, I’m an animal

I see you in my mirror & my lens is bleeding red visuals
Ahh, I’m so bloodthirsty animal
I see you in my shadow & I look like that fiery dragon
Wo, I’m so scary animal
I see you shattered & scattered all over my dark ground
Rahh, I’m so brutal animal
I disappear in darkness after killing your dying soul to be one with the new you & eternity
Yeah, I am that tainted & untamed animal

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Notes: Haiku – seasonal transformation (1). Myths of the mirror (2) In the dark, a rose #poem (3)

© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Photo credits: The beautiful picture of moon is taken by my dear friend, Nitish Jain. I’ve added some layers & filters to make it scream my poem.

A Poem: Longing

Every day brings me to something different. I am writing this new poem very late at night. The words are flowing in me all of a sudden & I am not stopping them. I’m simply longing crazily & living those lines as if it’s my reality.

Picturing you laying by my side
While we hold each other so tight
The smell of your hair & skin
Draws me even closer to you with a blink
The tender touch on your pretty face
Makes you smile with that haiz
The deep ocean in your beautiful eyes
The sacred connection of our beating hearts
The souls are doing most of the talk
But I know your voice is sweet & warm
The bodies start burning immensely hot
When I press my lips against the soft lips of yours
The sensual feeling to move & dance
When you put me into the loving trance
The way you breathe in that very moment
Truly spiritual at a deeper level
You lay your head gently on my chest
And we drift away in the mysterious mist
The universe stands still in total awe
When our bodies melt together into one
You are so close to me in sense perception
And yet so far away from a different dimension
The longing to be with you is just not some crazy dream
If I cut open my chest, you’ll see how I bleed without a scream
You’re a blessing with a formless form
That I cherish from dusk til dawn

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Painting this Picture

I’m visualizing every line of this poem as this is what I’m feeling. The lines are flowing in me; this poem is occurring to me. It’s my spiritual way of dealing & healing myself.

Tear my eyes to ocean
Tear my body into pieces
Break open the dark skies
Break me into phases
Paint my face in thick red
Paint my phrase to crazy
Pain me till I feel the edges
Pain me to find the inner space
Falling from top of the hill
Falling to reach my grounding
Diving to kill the killzone
Diving to meet the unknown
Dying to repair the top shelf
Dying to reborn my whole self

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

A Poem: Bittersweetness

A different kind of poem I’m writing. If you read it closely, you’ll find many different levels. It unwraps gradually as you read it slowly. Bitter does not necessarily mean bad, whether it’s chocolate or a person. One needs to understand the texture, proportions and the process.

Some people like the taste of
Bittersweet chocolate and
Some give it just a try coz
The problem is that
Sweet taste disappears so fast & then
Bitter hits the tongue to
Give the sensation of darkness but
You feel like eating some
More bittersweet chocolate to
Get the sweetness back again before
The bitter hits you once more but
This time the difference is that
The bitterness lasts longer so
Either you’ll get addicted to the taste or
It would be hard to enjoy with the slow pace
I’m that bittersweet chocolate entering in your deep space so
Slide me in and
Bite me into small pieces to
Get that raw taste or
Use your soft hands to
Unwrap the silver foil and
Break me into pieces to
Put me in your lukewarm bowl where
You stir & melt me gently where
We melt & freeze slowly to
Make new shape & forms but
If you can’t decide that
You would like the taste coz
It’s difficult for you to
Try something less sweet then
Simply wrap me back and
Hide me somewhere in your space coz
You aren’t ready to handle
The real & raw flavours of
Pure joy & sweet pain well
Perhaps another time but
You must always remember that
You are holding just a portion of this bar and
Not sitting in some darkened space and
Holding the bars of a cage coz
One thing about me will never change that
I’ll always remain the bittersweet chocolate with
A slightly edgy taste that
Depends on the chemistry between
You & me and
How I was actually made

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Happy B’day My Dearest Wife

This poem is dedicated to my wife on her b’day, expressing how I feel and how she’s been supporting me & being there for the whole family in difficult times.

  1. You are that golden & intense sunshine
  2. Who lighten up my darkened shades & gloomy signs
  3. Even though we’re going through very difficult times
  4. It’s you, who has kept me & the family alive
  5. You’re the beautiful being with the sense of the sublime
  6. The heart of yours is pure & divine
  7. The emotions flow in you as the waves – sinusoid
  8. I’m deeply thankful that you’re in my life
  9. I know, I don’t always show it & sometimes I make you cry
  10. But you must know that I love you very high, you’re the magical kind
  11. Jan – A Very Happy B’day from our beautiful kids & me – my dearest & beautiful wife

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Slow & Steady

I was feeling terribly frightened when I started picturing if I weren’t alive. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. I had a new bleeding in bleeding at the hospital and I started thinking, there’s a deeper meaning of it. The universe is trying to tell me, trying to teach things from the beginning. It’s like a new awakening. When I grasped that, my point of view changed, spiritual side has kicked in. The only way to survive & live is to take slow & steady steps.

Once upon a time
I saw the dark skies
The stars were shining bright
But the inside of me was in terrible fright

The night then passed by
The sun was showering its golden light
But I was picturing the worst if I weren’t alive
The confidence was lacking in me at that time

Picturing scenes with horrible endings
Where my family left behind with my ashes & nothing
Paralyzed body & unstable mind was planting these thoughts in my grounding
Everything was unclear & unsharp with bad timing

But then I invited myself to meet me
To look at the things differently with the eyes of spirituality
I believe everything happens for a reason, nothing is coincidentally
This bleeding in bleeding tells me something deeper than the mind can grasp mentally

Then I decided to reset my inside
I started to accept my new reality inside & out
I understood no wonder was going to happen overnight
Slow & steady progress is the only way to find the stable ground
To reach the unknown places, where I can reunite the soul, the body & the mind

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© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

My Rehab

The name of this poem is My Rehab. I’m in fear, panicking and quite anxious. Questioning myself if I ever would be close to normal. I know, my family need me but what if I can’t make it – this feeling is terrifying. I’m in great shock & in tears. I’m trying to come out of my pain body, my patterns & trying to accept my situation. I hear these voices, which are showing me the right path, making me to believe in me, having faith & trust. This voice is healing me. Everyone is sending me positive energy; they have been very kind to me. I had lost hope in rehab for a moment but I believe in it slowly.

Picture this
I’m lying down on my hospital bed
Having this fear & anxiety
Questioning me to search the answers
Would I ever be able to feel my left arm, hand & left side of face
Would my left arm feel like a rubbery dead load for the rest of my life
Would I ever be able to run, jump, fight & play with my kids
Would I ever be able to drive car, ride bike or simply walk without loosing balance
Would I ever be able to be there for my beautiful wife, kids – the family

Would I let them loose me
Would I ever be able to bear the responsibility on my shoulders
Would I fail me & the family by letting me down
Would I ever be able to work with same efficiency
Or would I simply loose my focus
Would I sit still as a handicap
Tears started drizzling down my face
I was out of words
I was in the state of shock
This picture became so real
Fear & panic took over my thoughts, it’s so clear

But then I heard this voice
Let it be, just let it be
Accept it, simply accept it
Open your heart & embrace it
Everything will be alright
Have faith & trust
Believe in yourself
Believe in your will power
Focus
Meditate
Heal the body, mind & soul

Family, friends & well wishers are putting so much efforts in me, every single day
Nurses, ergo – physio therapists are investing so much energy in me, every moment of my life
All have been so kind to me
Have never felt this kind of energy & vibe
Pure & sacred
Team effort
Thankful to each & every soul
It makes me to remain in focus towards my goal
The rehab
I have started believing in

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© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Poem… Gratitude

I’ve received flowers from family & work, phone calls, video calls, so many text messages. It warms my heart when my family & I are going through this tough time. I can feel, I’m not alone. The therapists, nurses & whole staff has been there for me. This is poem is to express how thankful I am for this gesture. I’m at the hospital, paralyzed on the left side, hoping I’ll one day reconnect to my senses & will find the balance and body, mind & soul will become one again.

6 days back, I got the surprise from my wife
She placed the flower bouquet on the table by my side
It’s a card with wishes & warm thoughts from my dear family, department, colleagues & friends

Frequent visits, messages & phone – video calls are simply heartening
It’s just the most exquisite gesture
That you’re concerned & to put a thought of me
It always inspires me
And so nice to see
That you’re thinking of me
Touched & humbled from the bottom of my heart
That you have the hots for me
Gratitude & namaste for sending me the wishes & thoughts

I must free head
To see that
To sense it
To see self
To burn this
To sink ash
Atleast 21 days of rehab
I’ll be all new without I bleed that
To balance the psyche & body to prefab

This is what I’ve realized
That my new design is conceptualized
That my left arm & hand are paralyzed
That my self will be visualized
Soul & Mind can’t be standardized
Body & Soul are One, they can’t be vaporized
One without the other, is meditative, it’s quite mesmerized

So to put the numbers on the table
While I carry my numb left arm & hand
As I focus on this table
Balancing my legs & feet
As if it’s just slipping away from me
That slippery sand

Family, friends, work, & colleagues among others I’m gonna miss the most
My Beloved wife is always there for me & for our beautiful kids
Thankful to professionals as well
To always keep an eye on me

Needless to state in the end
That I’ll definitely be back
That’s what I intend
It’s the festivities of Christmas and New Year
So hang by the drink & dance on the sickening & crazy chilling beats
I’m sure you’re gonna miss me & my insane‐psycho beast
Till we meet again….

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© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Bleeding Numbers

So now I understand why I felt the need to write Trip-Track a few days earlier. On 7th Nov at around 9:30 am I was rushed to the hospital. I didn’t understand what was going on. Those sirens & zig-zag tour in ambulance while I was writing sms to find out who’s gonna pick my kids up from school. My wife was supposed to come home same evening to be with us for the weekend but then she never went back. I was hit by brain haemorrhage on the right side. My left arm & hand is numb. Epileptic attack was the next to follow 3 days from bleeding. Amidst this chaos, I was trying to find the inner peace.

Loosing my grip & feeling numb is quite a rubbery feeling in my flesh
Speeding in ambulance at the speed of light as I loose my stance
Noisy sirens chasing the streets as if I’m becoming so discreet in those lanes
Bleeding inside of brain is so draining and is pure insane

CT & MR show the big spots & some huge round clot in my scans
Paralysis in left arm, hand & left side of face, simply can’t comprehend
Not able to lift my arm & fingers is quite noticeable challenge
Epileptic cramps on the left side of face & arm as they are about to harm my brain

But I’m not about to loose without giving myself a chance to withstand
I’ll wrestle back my arm to let loose the heavens, the storm if I can
I must find my inner peace & my inner calm to fallback at this space
Family, friends, & job matter the most – that’s the ultimate strength
I’ll fight back to finally come back from the horrors of the graves
This is my promise, I won’t rest – it’s dawn of fire, my roar, it’s the scream from my den

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© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.