Questioning

I’m questioning myself, why I have all these different feelings – loneliness, sadness, panic, suffocation. I think, I’m going through a phase, where it feels like I’m writing every single word with my dark blood. I’m crying inside while I’m rhyming.

Is everything changing?

Tweaking

Is the mind chattering?

Freaking

Is the body shattering?

Exploding

Is the rhyme flowing?

Phrasing

Is the rhythm beating?

Creeping

Is the ink bleeding?

Deadly

Is the color red beets?

Dead beats

Is that beast feasting?

The Red Feast

Is the heartbeat racing?

Panicking

Is the air slowly fading?

Fainting

Is the screen getting blurry?

Sweating

Am I simply afraid?

Suffocating

Has the time stopped moving?

Lonely

Have I started reaching places?

Phases

Am I going crazy?

Frenzy

Do you get what’s happening?

Suffering

Can you sense the feeling?

Burning

Are you here to catch me?

Destiny

Are you one of those preachers?

Creatures

Do you come from the shadows?

Light

Is this all a part of me?

Questioning

 

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© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Fluctuations

I’m talking to myself by sending a deep message. I’m accountable of my own happiness and sorrow. Normally we tend to play the blame game. If I’m happy, it because of myself and if I’m sad, it’s because of you. That’s always the easy way by simply fluctuating. However, taking full responsibility of your own life isn’t that easy. It sounds quite black & white. However, if I really connect with the Being, which is normally hidden behind the self, then it would be easier to understand. One needs to die several times to live from the deep. I’m not saying I’m able to do so every single moment. If I could, I wouldn’t have written so many poems of different shades.

Everything in the beginning seems so fine
No complaints whatsoever, they’re hard to find
Then you tell me…..
I’m the reason that you’re happy

Your life is now a pretty ten
Everything is clickin’ & making sense
It’s the life you’ve been dreamin’
The perfect picture ready to be framed in

But you see, time has its own perfect sign
It keeps moving on without a single sigh
The moment has now changed
And you on the other hand, seem deranged
So now you tell me…..
I’m the reason of your suffering

Your life is now pretty tensed
Things are crazy broken & make no sense
It’s the life you don’t wanna live at all
Broken & sharp mirror all over your ground

But tell me, is this your very true reality?
Or are you just presenting me in your virtual reality?
When it has nothing to do with virtue & reality
You see, you’re slowly loosing your true identity
But one day you would learn to take the full responsibility
Coz I can’t be the reason of your contentment & casualty
And I won’t take the credit or the blame of your reality

My point is that fluctuations aren’t the ground reality
Finding peace amidst storms & being restless in serenity
Are the states of your inner scene
When your very being is the only thing
Unaffected by the nature’s different screens

Have you noticed the black screen in your brain?
When your thoughts stop talking & you don’t need to strain
It’s that state where everything simply standstill
It’s the moment of endless love, inner peace & real zeal

You’re this very Being, observing from your third eye
You’re the caravan of this life that never truly dies
Where to live is to constantly die
Was the talk between the self & the I

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© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

My Poetry

Poem is me. I’ve never been so passionate about writing poetry. If I were filthy rich, didn’t have to think of paying bills, I would simply leave everything to become a full-time writer. I primarily write poems about what I experience. It could be an emotion, an opening in me, self-realization or simply a pure desire. I bring forward the real matters, which encircle my life & of those, related to me. Feeling of depression, pain, sadness, anger, anxiety, panic, trauma, old wounds, difficulty in sleeping, feeling numb, longing, craving, darkness, disorder, disturbance, lightness, mindfulness, spirituality, love, heart, connections are the topics I touch through my writings. I’m not afraid of writing about provocative matters, which others might say, “it’s not ok”. However, I need to be true to myself. It’s not about attacking someone; it’s more about being transparent. Writing poems is very therapeutic & it helps in healing.

If the things were only up to me
And my vault were stashed with greenery
I would exit the world of perfect geometry
To enter the universe with heart fueled poetry

I’m in love with scribbling the meaningful themes
It’s my way of expressing how I truly feel
The lyrics synchronize with frequency of my heartbeat
The percussion & vibration of the immaculate beast

Now let me stitch the pieces a bit differently
Just stay for a while, hear another thing from me
The words in my verses are no curse if you read explicitly
I don’t shoot at the painbody with explosive trajectory

I simply bring up the matters which have been hiding inside me
To share those stories with the same original intensity
That I felt back then as it was my reality
You see, this is my healing process & my therapy

I know it’s kinda provocative the way I project my themes
It’s not gloomy to throw light on the darker scenes
It doesn’t matter what you think of it & how you think of me
The darkness is, so light can be

My rhymes are self realization & experiences with deeper meaning
It’s my way to explore the core, the burning fire; the formless being
This is how I see the things now & it’s meant to be
You see, poetry is the flow in me & it’s the heart I breathe

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Surreal

Thoughts are racing in my mind & making this picture, that’s quite surreal. I’m trying hard to route these thoughts to nowhere; trying to dissolve them as I don’t know what’s going on in my head. I know sometimes we try to analyse & use our logic in everything, without being simply present to simply experience & explore.

You see, it all appears so real 
And yet the things are quite surreal
I don’t even know what I’m doing here
I can’t resist it, I’m about to shear
While I breathe this dark & heavy air
Perhaps I write this all to simply share 
To route my thoughts to nowhere
To simply explore what’s going on up in here
I think, I’m just trying to clear the unclear

Perhaps these words aren’t making sense
It’s not about the logic, just be present
They are in tenses & quite intense
Feel the heat & smell the pungent scent
Now hold on for a moment, don’t get so tensed
You see, these words are simply effervescent
They disappear before you can even comprehend
It’s my way to rebuild my old & broken tent
By tent, I mean the very existence

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