Poem… Gratitude

I’ve received flowers from family & work, phone calls, video calls, so many text messages. It warms my heart when my family & I are going through this tough time. I can feel, I’m not alone. The therapists, nurses & whole staff has been there for me. This is poem is to express how thankful I am for this gesture. I’m at the hospital, paralyzed on the left side, hoping I’ll one day reconnect to my senses & will find the balance and body, mind & soul will become one again.

6 days back, I got the surprise from my wife
She placed the flower bouquet on the table by my side
It’s a card with wishes & warm thoughts from my dear family, department, colleagues & friends

Frequent visits, messages & phone – video calls are simply heartening
It’s just the most exquisite gesture
That you’re concerned & to put a thought of me
It always inspires me
And so nice to see
That you’re thinking of me
Touched & humbled from the bottom of my heart
That you have the hots for me
Gratitude & namaste for sending me the wishes & thoughts

I must free head
To see that
To sense it
To see self
To burn this
To sink ash
Atleast 21 days of rehab
I’ll be all new without I bleed that
To balance the psyche & body to prefab

This is what I’ve realized
That my new design is conceptualized
That my left arm & hand are paralyzed
That my self will be visualized
Soul & Mind can’t be standardized
Body & Soul are One, they can’t be vaporized
One without the other, is meditative, it’s quite mesmerized

So to put the numbers on the table
While I carry my numb left arm & hand
As I focus on this table
Balancing my legs & feet
As if it’s just slipping away from me
That slippery sand

Family, friends, work, & colleagues among others I’m gonna miss the most
My Beloved wife is always there for me & for our beautiful kids
Thankful to professionals as well
To always keep an eye on me

Needless to state in the end
That I’ll definitely be back
That’s what I intend
It’s the festivities of Christmas and New Year
So hang by the drink & dance on the sickening & crazy chilling beats
I’m sure you’re gonna miss me & my insane‐psycho beast
Till we meet again….

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© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Bleeding Numbers

So now I understand why I felt the need to write Trip-Track a few days earlier. On 7th Nov at around 9:30 am I was rushed to the hospital. I didn’t understand what was going on. Those sirens & zig-zag tour in ambulance while I was writing sms to find out who’s gonna pick my kids up from school. My wife was supposed to come home same evening to be with us for the weekend but then she never went back. I was hit by brain haemorrhage on the right side. My left arm & hand is numb. Epileptic attack was the next to follow 3 days from bleeding. Amidst this chaos, I was trying to find the inner peace.

Loosing my grip & feeling numb is quite a rubbery feeling in my flesh
Speeding in ambulance at the speed of light as I loose my stance
Noisy sirens chasing the streets as if I’m becoming so discreet in those lanes
Bleeding inside of brain is so draining and is pure insane

CT & MR show the big spots & some huge round clot in my scans
Paralysis in left arm, hand & left side of face, simply can’t comprehend
Not able to lift my arm & fingers is quite noticeable challenge
Epileptic cramps on the left side of face & arm as they are about to harm my brain

But I’m not about to loose without giving myself a chance to withstand
I’ll wrestle back my arm to let loose the heavens, the storm if I can
I must find my inner peace & my inner calm to fallback at this space
Family, friends, & job matter the most – that’s the ultimate strength
I’ll fight back to finally come back from the horrors of the graves
This is my promise, I won’t rest – it’s dawn of fire, my roar, it’s the scream from my den

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Trip-Track

A poem… Trip-Track. Words are simply flowing in me. I feel such a crazy need to scribble this poem. I’m sensing something at subconscious level. I can feel, I’m going to walk on a burning track soon. I don’t know why I feel that. I’m perhaps connected to The Almighty, which is telling me something is coming my way. So better “pack your baggage”.

Ripping the new tracks for my upcoming trip
Burning are the numbers with crazy deep lyrics
Upbeat to find the intense on this trip so scenic
Unseen is the route, where the unknown bleeds like a civil

Looking closely into my baggage to check what to upkeep
Unkeen to bring the new & to loose a few old things
The new is asking me to embrace but I’m hesitant to see & let it stay
The old is hiding with a different face but I ain’t desperate to find & let it phase

Excited to explore but anxiety is tricking me
Wondering if the heart will remain inside of me
Speculating if I’ll find peace when my rest would be in pieces
Questioning if I’ll rip my heart out, would my soul then R.I.P.?

The necessary, I must absorb & digest on the way of waves
And the rest must pass through me without any claims
The tracks will for sure burn my body consciously
To leave my naked marks as the permanent prints eventually

Surrender, Acceptance, Faith, Existence are the treasures in my S.A.F.E. of open space
What You Believe Is What You See is the reality I believe & resonate
It’s a trip filled with mindful & mind full tracks that I walk while I levitate
The tracks on this trip that I play, are the forms of my life that I live & meditate

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