The Real Meal

How things can change from one moment to other, how mood swings can affect one another, when the eyes see a different form, a different picture. How the loud screams can’t be heard when the peace moves away, even further.

It’s like when I write my lines & describe a few things
I’m just grinding to tell how it feels when my mood swings
By crushing the stones into rough & fine powder that I mix
With liquid to make this soothing & so therapeutic paste
To heal the mental bleeding, wounds & physical pain

I tend to set my scope to fire my own head in flames
Take myself & my surroundings down with my anxiety & imbalance that I face
Nothing can be shielded this moment by thin layers over the sensitive surface
I come out suddenly from my dark, broken & isolated shed
People see me changing my form into this evil with eyes burning pure red

And then it seems as if I’m about to freak out the freak in me
A bloodthirsty sinner in those sparkling & scary scenes
Everything around me turn into ashes with my scorching heat
And it seems as if I feed my mind with my dear ones’ sufferings
I get deafened by the chains of my own crazy & loud screams

I can’t hear a word when they constantly beg me in fear to stop while they’re in tears
But no excuses, coz it’s explicitly me, who’s exhibiting the evil in me
I only wish to unchain myself in reality, to get freedom from me
So I end up wandering in search of the balanced recipe for my crazy craving
Manifesting inner peace is the definition of the real meal & by that, I mean real me

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Freestyle Roar

When I can’t see the true divine, hiding behind the laser lines. I’ve found out that heavy epilepsy medicines can cause mood swings & anger in my mind, the feeling from time to time & it’s multiplying. Just like bleeding wasn’t enough to imply, crazy rhyme, roaring freestyle.

My sky is shifty & I’m about to freestyle on my floating cloud
Inhale this air & exhale my lungs out
Shatter windows to break open my crazy house
Stand on my reckless ground, than to be a part of the senseless crowd
I’m wearing the dark shades & ready to slit anything with my sword

I’m loosing my balance & my head is twisting spirals
The blood vessels in my brain is about to explode the red coloured diamonds
The demon in me is monstrous & spitting fire
I’m about to hit everything with my ice cold desire
Hide yourself instantly to avoid the consequences dire

This thick red flowing in my body is dark & savage
Don’t come near me if you can’t handle my burning rage
You better engage your senses, to avoid your name engraved
I feel stuck inside my wounded brain as if I’m doomed & caged
Everything seems shattered from here, not everything can’t be salvaged

You see, my skin ain’t so thick, so I won’t take it with ease
Just don’t try to pinch my surface, I’ll then play you like a twig
Stop clicking my clicks, if you don’t wish me to come after you with my fits
Stop throwing those bricks coz I’ll then break every single one into tiny pieces
It seems as if I’m feeling sick & crazy, but I’m simply trying to look for the inner peace

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Your Eyes

How eyes can show the truth, even though one tries to hide the burning ocean, everything is crystal clear, if you look deeper into them.

I can see in your beautiful, big & deep eyes
How you’re feeling, your eyes can never lie
I can sense the restlessness in you & the whole is crying
The deep ocean is red-blue-green & is crazily sighing

Every teardrop is creating symmetrical ripples
Your ocean is sending waves to the heaven
The nature of your heavenly body is pure & heathen
Just like the universe in its own beautiful way is healing

You don’t need to say a single word, you must know
Your eyes are bleeding every word, they know every bit of you
The desire to dive deep to reach your bottom, before I hit the very shore
To catch my breath, to meet your divine & to see your beautiful core

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

The T-Tour

Inspired by WildHeart, a fellow blogger, I’m writing a tautogram poem – a different style with meaningful words to me, which I’m expressing differently, that I’m scribbling instantly.

Throttling the twisted thoughts
Trespassing the traumatic top
Trekking through the thirsty throat
Teardropping these teasing thorns
Tearing the toughened turf
Throwing the tainted timid throne

Thrusting through the tangible tangent
Trusting the tremendously tranced treasures
Thriving these timeless twinkling therapies
Treating the tactless tender trees
Thickening this to transcendental transparent thin
Thanking the true transpiring transformation thing

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Crazy Me

It’s about how mind plays tricks sometimes, but do keep in mind, I’m not attacking any individual. So don’t mind what you read coz this is how I see the things from time to time. Things are exaggerated in my mind.

I’m here to tell you a crazy story
So stay tuned to hear something different & perhaps, a bit nasty
I promise though, it’s not gonna be ever lasting
The boiling water will disappear from my surface after vaporizing

Let me write the disclaimer very clearly
I’m neither telling it to attack someone nor to gain any sympathy
My body is burning & my vision is sort of blurry
It’s my way to cool down, this is my own therapy

I go by different names these days
It’s not a shock when I hear the name calling anyways
I admit, I could be all that upto a certain extent
I’m not here to explain the reasons, coz you won’t get them from where you stand

I’ve been called angry, an asshole, fucked up, impatient & lazy
Mr. Stress, short tempered, stubborn & unhappy are a few more to top this list
I could be even more if you only play to pinch my outer skin
To judge me from far far away, without knowing me deep within

I’ve heard that I hit, I hurt & I offend with my razor sharp words
I must be a devilish curse, that forge the course with my crooked force
That pokes the thin surface with trident till they bleed out their inner souls
That degrades in the end, Jesus blood into some cheap wine, that too is sort of corked

I misunderstand things repeatedly & a few people regret knowing me
I even put words in their mouth coz I’m so foul & freakin’ mean
Isn’t it always easier to play this game of pointing finger & blaming?
So I’m simply going to let this insanity pass through me

I’m typing the letters I-C by myself, you see
Translation – I feel Insanely-Crazy, not Icy
My brain is so heavy & my nerves are yet to connect with my body
So, I’m trying to change these beastie beats to the inner peace

I don’t wish anyone to be in my situation
But have a tiny understanding to understand my condition
It’s not easy to stand on either sides to find the balanced solution
At times, it could be confusing, that leads to frustrating dissolution

True, only I can make myself happy & no one can push my trigger but me
But then am I also responsible for others unhappiness & misery?
Where’s the balance now & where’s that teaching?
We can’t practice 24/7 everything, it’s the human nature of acting, reacting & living

I know, I must die several times to live from the deep
But stop accusing me for I don’t get things & so called missssunderstandings
Just don’t put everything on me to overlook the inner hurt & the inner bleeding
Take the responsibility & stand still on the inner grounding

Things could be white & things could be grey
But every single shade is pure in its own beautiful way
Coz none of these shady shades can ever be crazily fake
So don’t mistreat my soft corner in this cracked shell as my weakness, it won’t turn into some crispy flake

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Liebster Award

I’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award. I feel blessed & grateful.

Last week I was nominated for a Liebster Award…my first Liebster nomination. I’m truly humbled that Anonymously Hal has nominated me. I simply love Hal’s blog…well, it’s written with great depth, honesty, pain / love. Hal’s flow is flawless & emotions are immense. Check Anonymously Hal’s blog out at https://anonymouslyhal.wordpress.com/

Rules

  1. Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you.
  2. Share 11 facts about yourself.
  3. Answer the 11 questions the blogger(s) asked you.
  4. Nominate 11 bloggers and make them happy!
  5. Make up to 11 questions and ask them to your nominees.
  6. Notify your 11 nominees.

11 facts about me:

1. I am veggie (yeah, such a thing is a fact these days).
2. I love music – hip hop (not mumble rap…that’s kinda cRap), rock, 90s, classical (piano, cello, violin) are my kind.
3. One labradoodle dog, two siamese cats are very important part of my family.
4. Cappuccino on oat milk tastes fantastic.
5. I love cooking & experimenting with food.
6. I believe my brain haemorrhage has a deeper meaning. It’s just not a critical sickness. Everything happens for a reason.
7. I’m passionate about my profession. It has to do with renewable energy.
8. I used to be a very quiet & closed person (I know…difficult to believe, huh?)
9. I’ve been writing poems since early 2017. It’s like they come to me. It has turned into my passion.
10. To me, darkness is light as well.
11. I believe in spirituality, unknown energies, alternative medicine, healing, reincarnation & karma

My 11 questions from Anonymously Hal:

1. What is your favorite food? I’ve turned veggie since last 3.5 yr. So basically anything vegetarian with great taste, texture & consistency would do. But my home made veggie lasagne is my favorite food. I love cooking (fact).
2. What country are you from? I’m basically from India (born & lived most of my life over there). I moved to Denmark in year 2000. I’m a Danish citizen now.
3. What’s your favorite movies? I’m more of a tv-serial guy (like Modern Family, Luther, The Killing). A few hindi movies – Sholay (thriller), Sadma (sad), Aankhein (comedy); English movies – Terminator 2, superheros (Spider-Man, Batman etc), sci-fi, comedy, Lord of the Rings kinds, Titanic used to be my favorites several years back.
4. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? Everything happens for a reason. Good/bad; sunny sky/dark nights; happy/sad are all great teachers.
5. What is your profession? I’ve a bachelor’s degree in Mechanical engineering. But I work (or used to as I’ve been on sick leave since Nov 2019. I’ll soon be starting though) as Senior CAD Technician in the field of Offshore Wind. CAD = Computer Aided Design. I’m involved in designing/3D modeling offshore wind turbine foundation (steel structure) & I’m quite passionate about it (fact).
6. Biggest regret in life? To see how much pain (& tears) I’m capable of giving to my dear ones when I snap; when I loose patience; when I’m in pain…though it’s never my intention…I’m learning every single day & am trying to change this part.
7. Favorite word? Crazy
8. Why do you follow my blog? Great depths in few words, honesty, pain/love, uniqueness, humor, outgoing nature are a few things I admire about Anonymously Hal. The flow is flawless & emotions are immense. I can so much connect & relate to the writings.
9. Whose your role model? Heart. Both love & pain go hand in hand. Persons, I’ll keep it to myself.
10. If you were an ice cream flavor what would you be? Chocolate
11. Do you believe in an afterlife? Yes

My nominees are:

https://lucysworkscom.home.blog/

https://awriterssoulblog.wordpress.com/

https://poetrybyarchangelwhitewolf.wordpress.com

https://undressedthoughts.com/

https://wildscaredcrazy.wordpress.com/

https://millenniallifecrisis.org/

https://brotherscampfire.com/

My 11 questions for my nominees:

1. What is your favorite food?
2. What country are you from?
3. What kind of music do you like?
4. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
5. Biggest regret in life?
6. Are you introvert or extrovert kind?
7. What’s your passion?
8. Why do you follow my blog?
9. If you were a drink (alcoholic or non-alcoholic), what would you be?
10. Do you believe in an afterlife?
11. Do you believe in karma?

Thank you very much! ❤️🙏

Please read my questions, and if you don’t have time, feel free to ignore this nomination. Have a wonderful day & stay safe! 🙏 ❤️

Shades

It’s about the shades – dark, blue & many more, moods, crazy phases, protecting, balancing, reconnecting & resetting.

I’m tired of staying inside my broken & dark shed
So I decide to come out, to see the light & feel the heat
To walk outside, to see the blue sky – the outer space
But I’m not used to leave my shed, perhaps I’m a bit afraid

The fire in my eyes is intense enough to burn things into ashes
So I pick up from the table my pair of shades
Don’t misunderstand me, I didn’t say pair of spades
Coz I’m not here to play any tricky games

I just want to exhale coz I’m feeling suffocated
So I’m gathering my energy to pave a newer way
It’s just not a dream to heal myself when I walk on these unknown lanes
I need to regain my balance & to reconnect my veins

But I won’t loose my shades while I’m exploring these different places
I’m protecting others, I’m not wearing for the sake of UV rays
To keep them at a safe distance from my burning eyes per se
I’m not in a mood to show my eyes & share my deeper pain

Now I’m back again after roaming around, to my broken & dark shed
To rest my naked eyes & I don’t need my pair of shades
You see, it’s a different way to learn & sway
And tranquilize me when my heart bleeds & aches

It’s now past peak hours, where I’m testing myself with my scars insane
Every moment teaches me how to straighten up the bends, I’m taking baby steps
To come out of my crazy phase by loosing this crazy face
To reset all to the pointy edge, where everything once began & one day it’ll surely end

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Healing the Spirits

It’s about picking my pieces up & put them together as that’s the only right choice I have.

You see, I can be so brutal
I’m that crazy & wild intruder
Who enters in my own skin, to produce thoughts
Which makes me crazier & protrude gun
To kill the unwanted & exclude dust
To single out heart to protect pure love
To raise the strong shield to bulletprooof my temple

My top shelf is already wounded & it hurts
Now this epilepsy tag has stuck for atleast 10 years on my t-shirt
Medicines are supposed to help but side effects are feeding like those mean bugs
It’s so frustrating that I feel like ripping away my own turf
But I can’t be agitated coz it could raise the pressure of my blood
So I accept this curve as my new medical curse

I do believe in self healing, I believe in miracles
I promise, I’m gonna change all this, it’s inevitable
I need to focus & remain calm, carving a new composer
I will fall several times but I will rise up
It’s my battle where I will bleed but I won’t give up
It’s not about the victory, it’s about breaking my patterns

Beast mode is on, to keep my beats & spirits up
Everything must heal within oneself, one just needs to believe in ONE
Every single being is connected to each other in this beautiful universe
I hear change is the only constant, so is the true love
It’s a different perspective, it’s highly spiritual

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© 2020 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.