That Man

I snapped like crazy on my kids & wife. No one could reach me as I turned in this fire-spitting devil. My family got scared of me & kids were crying. Later the same evening, when I came to my senses, I was crying, feeling anxious & was breathing heavily while I was asking myself, what the hell on this earth I was thinking & doing. If I act & react like this, I would traumatize my own family because of my deeds & patterns. That night was terrible for the whole family.

He’s an average man with his own imbalances
He feels like that freelancer with a lance tipped with steel in his hand
Who pokes others’ feelings unintentionally so they bleed coz he’s somewhat scared
The explosions of balloons with sudden release of the air

Sometimes he realizes too late, then he gets kinda stressed & very upset
He then wishes to set himself on fire to feel their pain
To leave his own head, to see himself burning in those crazy flames
To let go of his soul in the deeper & dark space

Sometimes a single moment can trigger a shot in his head
That everything becomes meaningless & then he becomes so sad
Breathing heavily while anxiety is reaching at his door steps
Feeling helpless, so he locks his head with heavy chains to feel safe

He’s trying to find his real ground to come out of the underground hell
He’s not trying to be perfect coz he knows that he can’t
But he’s trying to do everything to be a better man
He doesn’t believes in hiding, so he reveals that I’m that man

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Scheck This

I’m simply sketching while I’m checking myself – soul searching. Everything that has been happening has a deeper meaning, whether it’s pain, the thick red blood, different shades, lightness, dark moments, sadness, peace, love, the beating of this heart. Everything is sort of connected to each other, which is quite sacred. The art is not to identify myself by the patterns but to simply be that very being.

What am I doing here so late?
Why do I feel like sketching something on this slate?
I see the intense light that falls upon it from the sacred place
The need to chalk a story which is so pure & sane
The need to create this beautiful form from a deeper place
Darker shades appear brighter in the light of this glowing face
Everything around this is above & beyond with high stakes

Peel my skin off to realize what lies behind these layers
Thick red ink is flowing in my veins to line these phrases
Pain is a delicate part of me, that I dig to find my grounding
Peace is the river inside of me, that I flow to reach the darker surroundings
Love is the fire in my heart, that I burn to live this life, is quite astounding

Connections that are profound & sacred, are the ones that I truly cherish
These words will never disappear even though I one day will transform to the ashes
They are permanently embossed on my soul, that I’ll keep carrying
Every single moment is meant to be, is what I’ve been believing
There are no such things as coincidences in life, that we’ve been living

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The Sacred Connection

I’m writing my intense dream in the form of this poetry. The feeling of being connected to my last life, with my then wife. I’m still mesmerized as I can still feel the heart connection, love, the intimacy; the spiritual side is pure divine.

Once upon a time
He saw this woman so beautiful & divine
She was the goddess with intense eyes
Her dance was sensual & mesmerizing
She was wearing red, her moves were hypnotizing

She was dancing bare feet on the sandy ground
Splashing waves was the music in background
The campfire lit the scene in the dark
Her face was radiant in those golden sparks

His eyes were fixed on this beautiful divine
He was watching her closely with bird’s-eye
He was drawn to her immensely, no surprise
She wanted his attention, no denying
She had waited for him long for several lives

He landed close to her, as if he had the wings to fly
They looked deep into each other’s big & intense eyes
Instant love & connection, the two sacred hearts
He flew back to his place where he belonged
While he was carrying her in his arms

He was an Egyptian king in his past life
She became his queen, the one with the title of his wife
She was the only one, who could see through his eyes
She filled his life with a purpose, her love & pure divine
The twin flames still burning, they’re one of a kind
The magic is still living from the flames of their past life

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Achieve

I’m sick & tired of this word achievement. Yes, we are here to achieve something better in our personal & professional life. But that’s not the main purpose of living; of having this life. Instead of living the life with inner joy & from the heart, we are sucked up in goals & achievement; running continuously & being stressed. There’s no time to breathe & being aware of our surroundings.

Am I here to achieve a few things?
You see, if I put my heart & bleed
I can reach heights with ease
I might feel a bit dizzy & weak
But I won’t change to deceased
But is that what I really need?
Sometimes this all sounds like some disease
Do you get what I really mean & seek?

I know we all are human beings
Hungry to fulfill our different needs
But it does makes me to wonder & think
Why do we run over our own kind to get that seat?
Why do we scream at each other & create a crazy scene?
Is the purpose of our lives to simply fight & compete?

Sometimes we do nothing but to preach
Sometimes we create confusion with such a great speed
Sometimes we infuse panic & chaos, which lead to stampede
Sometimes we want to hide the wrong doings & not to be seen
Are we a part of hunger game & ready to kill our own breed?

The current way of doings & achieving, quite obsolete
I’m just projecting this picture that I’ve been seeing
Just try to listen & consider a few things
I’m simply suggesting, I’m not here to teach
Real joy comes from the heart & its beats
Simply let go the air that we tend to breathe

All I want is to sow a few seeds before I leave
The holy water will then do its own magical tricks
The seeds will turn into the powerful trees
We are all different creatures with a common means
The essence of this thing lies in the very being
So let’s spread the love that’s necessary to live

It’s time to bring awareness while we walk on our own feet
That ripple in water can be sensed from the seven seas
Let’s find new ways to fill the stomachs eventually
Let’s open the gates of our hearts to the real & loving deeds
Let’s wide open the mind’s eyes to redefine what an achievement should be
Shallow life is unstoppable calamity
Sacred path is pure spirituality

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