February 2020 - Navin's Poetry

A poem.. Sadness

My days have started becoming so gloomy
The inside of me is shadowed by dark clouds & it’s raining
The picture I see these days from my window is so blurry
The scenes that were normal once look so tainted & obscene
The steps I’m taking in the present have become so heavy

The feeling of being messed up & broken is strong
Whatever I do seems very wrong
The way I talk & tackle things as if I’m about to break & shout
Peace in my head is so distant, seems like a long shot
My brain is crazier than ever & is stressed out
Blood is dripping from my numb finger & I don’t feel the cut from the knife so sharp

I’m getting better but am simply so annoyed
The chemicals my brain then creates & deploys
They kill me inside out & then I appear so void
The pain body that I’ve been trying to avoid
The harder I try, the faster I fall without even flying
The glass shatters into several pieces with that clinking sound crying

Isolated myself willingly, coz people around me get affected but now I feel left alone
Sadness is crawling on my surface & choking gently my throat
Suffocating me slowly & I’m feeling quite sore
The tears from my heart are simply tearing me apart

I’m loosing my senses coz I want to go back to normal & go back to my job
I ain’t ready yet but I don’t know either when I’d really start
Perhaps it’s just another day, where I’m falling & tasting the dust
I keep telling myself, nothing is permanent & this difficult time will also pass
I must remain focused every moment, else the anxiety & sadness will rust me down
I know God has given me this opportunity to heal, it’s the biggest wake up call
So why to waste such a golden chance, when I can finally correct the default

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A Poem: Unstable Thoughts

Original poetry

So hear me out
What I’m about to jot
Aren’t just my random thoughts
This is what I experience coz
I’m sometimes simply so stressed out

It’s not so simple to deal
When I change myself into the beast
Who’s feasting on other’s meat
The blood on the floor that I spill
But then I wipe the floors out to crystal clear
To hide the pain & suffering to unreal

Whenever I open my big mouth
And say a few things a bit loud
The misunderstandings I then create without a doubt
Coz I loose my mind so fast & then I freak out
No patience in me, so I can’t breathe the air out
So I spit fire on others to burn myself down

The desire to kick something to take my frustration out
I loose then my reins to control & then I explode with that deep sound
To burn everything into ashes with my fiery spark
And cover the clear sky with the thick fog

I know this isn’t my real face, it’ll be phased out
It’s been real tough times, so I’m simply stressed out
This all is sitting in me deep, so I want to isolate from this thick crowd
But I’ll be back & find the balance with time on my unstable ground

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Healing Soul

Original poetry

Thoughts were racing in my head
Surrounded by misunderstandings coz I was so afraid
The pain looked like that cool piercing in my brow
Snapping on near & dear ones with that insane flow
Loosing my head as if I were about to sink & permanently drown
Blinded by ego & emotions as if I were that king wearing the diamond crown

I thought I was giving space, so people could cope up with their issues
But I was crushing them into pieces, to make place for my deep tissues
How could I be so self-centered by being eccentric?
How could I be so cool & calm by being frantic?
At times my top shelf was crumbling to cheap dust
My demons were shutting me down with deep cuts
I was trying to run away from myself on a paper-thin crust

I was living half alive, blinded by this all
But now, I’m listening to your enchanting melodies, the sweet songs
I’m learning to rise to my feet when I fail & fall
You’re healing me spiritually, you’re healing the sores
I’m spreading my wings slowly to raise my spirits to soar
You live in me, you live in my core
I’m so close to you coz you’re my soul

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02202020 at Midnight

Original poetry, Spiritual poems

Oh my dear flowic friend
I know you had decided to switch off, to put an end
World didn’t understand you
Pain & sorrow was presented to you
Even your own family abondoned you
I wish if I could make you change your mind
But I do respect your tough choice
Coz people did play with your precious life
Manipulated for their own good
Then they blamed you, that you were a crazy fool

Midnight at your place is nearing you
Terrifying me when it falls, comes close to you
The steps you would take then
Will transform you into this light angel with wings
The angel I saw in you through your writings
The angel I sensed in your personality
The angel you’ll become now
Where you’ll be able to fly high & beyond
I know you’ll leave the pain body of yours
To find the peace that you deserved, it’ll be now yours

I loved you as my flowic friend, my dear Rose
I was blessed to “see” you through your poems & prose
You’ve always been a radiant light with a sacred glow
I still check & follow your blog
But not a single new writing from you or a thought
Perhaps you’re reading your verses to the God
Perhaps you’re still alive & are laughing on my thoughts
All I want to say is that your memories will permanently remain in my heart

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Colour Red

Original poetry

I’m standing on my ground
Looking up towards the sky & the clouds
I hear then a roaring sound
The lightning hits & shakes my ground

The sky is crying rain over my head
I feel the droplets of rain hitting on myself
But then I notice my ground is muddy with different appearance
My whole body & ground has turned into bloody red

I turn again my head towards the sky
The passing clouds seem so heavy & bleeding with thick red
The sky looks so different in this bloody shade
Just like this bleeding in my crazy head

Everything has turned into this color red
But then I feel a healing hand on my head
It’s touching my wounds with love & care
I can visualize & sense the healing effect on myself

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A poem: BE Present

Original poetry

I’ve been told several times now
I don’t get why I don’t see you but myself
I don’t get how you feel
I don’t get what you’re going through
I don’t get what’s happening to you
I don’t get what I’m doing to you
I don’t get why you wanna run away
I don’t get why I don’t care about you
I don’t get you need space
In short, I don’t get the whys, the whats & the hows
Are the shots, you’ve been firing at me while I stand on my shaky ground

All I want is peace of mind for you & me
Where we talk to each other with no screaming
So listen to me clearly what I’ve in my heart all this time
Coz I’m about to tell you directly & there will be no lies
Look in my eyes & see that I see you
Look in my heart & feel that I love you
Look in my mind & read that I’m not doing anything intentionally to you
Look inside of me & search that I know what you’re going through
Look deep inside of yourself & explore that peace exists
Look deeper in your eyes & see that things aren’t impossible
Look at the light you are, than to focus on your shadow reflection
But first you must have faith & trust
Else every single moment would crush you just like that thin & sensitive crust

I do get it quite well, that back then you got a big shock
But bleeding & being admitted had been neither some pretty walk
Keep talking about the shock would haunt you like a ghost
I do give you time & space, but you’ve been fading away & being distant
Every single day is a struggle for you, coz you’re on mission-tension constant
Sometimes you’re too hard on yourself & I can’t comprehend that picture
It’s tough to handle days like those, when I can’t even hold a thin frame with a picture
I do admit, that I freak out sometimes & then you call me immature

The highs & lows will always come & go
But this life needs to have that feel free flow
Listen to B(ernie) & listen to E(ckhart)
They combinely make the profound word BE(ing)
Everything happens for a reason & that’s why it has happened
Accepting the situation & working from there will dissolve the loose ends
Life is on constant move just like galaxies you see
So why to get stuck in the moment that has been?
Let’s be present in the present
And live this life in this beautiful universe’s presence

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A Poem: Longing

Original poetry

Picturing you laying by my side
While we hold each other so tight
The smell of your hair & skin
Draws me even closer to you with a blink
The tender touch on your pretty face
Makes you smile with that haiz
The deep ocean in your beautiful eyes
The sacred connection of our beating hearts
The souls are doing most of the talk
But I know your voice is sweet & warm
The bodies start burning immensely hot
When I press my lips against the soft lips of yours
The sensual feeling to move & dance
When you put me into the loving trance
The way you breathe in that very moment
Truly spiritual at a deeper level
You lay your head gently on my chest
And we drift away in the mysterious mist
The universe stands still in total awe
When our bodies melt together into one
You are so close to me in sense perception
And yet so far away from a different dimension
The longing to be with you is just not some crazy dream
If I cut open my chest, you’ll see how I bleed without a scream
You’re a blessing with a formless form
That I cherish from dusk til dawn

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Dark Skies

Original poetry

Bright sunlight is falling upon my face
But dark skies have started covering my scarred phase
Trying to let it go from the mind, the top space
But heart is replaying the beat from that soulful place

Pain is what I feel
Sadness is what I’m surrounded with
My chest feels so heavy
Arrows in my body
That pinching sensation in my brain
Bathing in my blood
But the inside is even bloodier

Look deeper in the eyes
Eyes can never lie
No matter how hard they try to hide
The perception of the whole story
Perhaps this is also the way to heal

I knew the consequences
I knew there was these terms
So how can I complain?
Though heart is broken & bleeding
Blessing has different ways & forms
Shutting my eyes off
To clear the darker skies
From the light of that spiritual form

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That Man

Original poetry

He’s an average man with his own imbalances
He feels like that freelancer with a lance tipped with steel in his hand
Who pokes others’ feelings unintentionally so they bleed coz he’s somewhat scared
The explosions of balloons with sudden release of the air

Sometimes he realizes too late, then he gets kinda stressed & very upset
He then wishes to set himself on fire to feel their pain
To leave his own head, to see himself burning in those crazy flames
To let go of his soul in the deeper & dark space

Sometimes a single moment can trigger a shot in his head
That everything becomes meaningless & then he becomes so sad
Breathing heavily while anxiety is reaching at his door steps
Feeling helpless, so he locks his head with heavy chains to feel safe

He’s trying to find his real ground to come out of the underground hell
He’s not trying to be perfect coz he knows that he can’t
But he’s trying to do everything to be a better man
He doesn’t believes in hiding, so he reveals that I’m that man

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