March 2020 - Navin's Poetry

It’s Too Late

My nights are always on the edge
It’s time for me to go to bed
But I would prefer to remain awake
Nights are haunting me, I’m a mess

I would rather listen to some nice music
Or jot down my own sick lyrics
Or read some blogs & write comments
Or read some mails & reply to them
Can you see where I’m going with all this?
Just read these lines if you wish to connect

I feel as if I’m sitting in my cave
Thoughts are crawling in me like those scary snakes
Spitting venom & biting my tasteless head
Dancing inside me with their hoods flare

I’m constantly doing this crazy check
Where I’m trying to balance my inner & outer self
But I can’t avoid those shocking waves
Where my crazy head starts to insanely shake
So I become anxious & a bit afraid
The restlessness makes me a bit desperate

I’m falling apart every night & day
Difficult to breathe, I simply can’t exhale
The emotions are running super fast, they are far ahead
I need help, is the voice I air

The desire to shout loud & then to scream
The desire to R.I.P. in this dark scene
The desire to feel my numb arm & face
Where I saw this phase with the blades of my phrase
Where I gather my pieces, to recreate my frame
I keep pressing my head from either ways

I feel helpless coz my longing curves to its extreme
The tears then start dripping down my left cheek
I need to rest my mind before it starts all over again
So I force myself to push the emergency brake

I put the earplugs on to listen to music
To hit the playlist, to find my tracks
To leave my thoughts aside, to make some empty space
I slowly drift away as that huge cloud with dark shade
I see the glimpse of stars & moon shining in this darkness
The healing begins & then I fall asleep

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Heat

Original poetry

My mind is exploding once again
Snapping like mental with blocked brain
Can’t feel the feelings of others when they try to share
All I want is the things to be done in my own way

I’m loosing my patience, just see my blood vein
Spitting only venom, just like Cerastes cerastes
If you come close to me, I’ll turn you into corpse case
Is the thought arising this moment, I’m feeling quite insane

I really need to grasp, this world doesn’t rotates around me
I must think of the loved ones & stop shouting, they got scared of me
My behaviour was unforgiving, it was quite shocking
I was so much burning in my flames, that I didn’t even apologize to them

Howcome I’m so blinded when I’m red & raged?
Why do I get so obsessed with perfect shapes in this deformed phase?
Howcome I yelled at my loved ones & showed zero respect?
Is my condition severely hammered than just my haemorrhage?

I made myself enemy of my loved ones & now I’m disturbed & suffocated
I’m stoned & glaring at this dark screen as if I’m dead in the present scene
The sadness has started covering my conscious with the dark shade
My heat will one day burn everything to ashes if I won’t heal me

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Your Presence

Original poetry

Right in this moment, I’m craving for you – Crazy for you
I wish to kiss your soft lips – Flow of passion
The desire to bite you – In pure ecstasy
Just want to dive into you blindly – A beautiful moment
I won’t be able to keep my hands away from your body – The curvy forms

But it was time to open my eyes from the subconscious
You weren’t here with me in your physical form
I felt though your pure energy from the sacred zone
You’ve set my heart on fire
It’s beating heavenly & hot
I feel your presence close to me
Pure intensity in a single shot

No, it wasn’t my longing – I felt your touch
It was so tender & deep
No, it wasn’t the moment of desperation – I smelled your scent
It was so fragrant & toxic
No, it wasn’t my anxiety – I heard myself scream your name
It was so real & yet surreal

The first alphabet is so curvy
Just like those loving beats so divine
Just like the hypnotizing dance of that serpentine
Just like the sensuality in spiritual form
Just wish to show you this crazy reality
You are simply the wave of my heartbeat

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Also visit: Passions, love poems and other writings (1)

Real Neat Blog Award

Original poetry

Last week I was nominated for a Real Neat Blog Award! I would like to thank from the bottom of my heart the blog & the person that nominated me: Anonymously Hal.

I feel honored & happy that people follow my blog, read my poems & at some level, connect to me. It’s my 2nd nomination in 3 years, besides the time I posted one of my poems for a competetion, just to check the temperature & I ended up in the top 3. But don’t misunderstand me, I don’t write to compete. Though, it feels great to be appreciated.

I write poems when I realize or experience something…my expressions. You can call them emotions, patterns, rollercoaster rides, sometimes a simple desire or simply an opening in me. That’s how I started my blog…to just write & share how I see & feel things. It has this great therapeutic effect on me as well. So thank you very much to each & every person who’s been reading my poems & following me. I feel comfortable opening up to you all, sharing my raw words. It’s a blessing that you can relate to me….as in I can relate to you.

As a part of the nomination requirements, I will also be nominating three blogs that I also enjoy and commenting on their page to notify them of the nomination. I will also be answering 7 questions asked by Anonymously Hal.

Three Blogs I am choosing to nominate:

eob2-Poetic Thoughts

joypassiondesire

Piyush Singh – The Perceptions Square

If you have been nominated, please answer the following questions below! (Please feel free not to participate if you do not have time or do not accept awards.)

What inspires your writing?
What’s your favorite food?
If you could be on one TV show…what would it be?
Where do you call home?
What has been your greatest moment thus far in 2020?
What are your three goals for 2020?
What is your favorite song of all time and why?

My answers to the questions asked by Anonymously Hal:

What inspires your writing? My own Trippin’ Track…myself as a person & my life, surrounded by me & my people.
What’s your favorite food? I’ve turned veggie since last 3.5 yr. So basically anything vegetarian with great taste, texture & consistency would do. But if I have to pick one, then it’ll be my home made veggie lasagne. I’m a great cook (not just my ego tells me that…others do as well 😉)
If you could be on one TV show…what would it be? Modern Family
Where do you call home? My heart. If I’m in contact with my heart (/love), I’ll be able to create home anywhere & will create place for everyone in the family.
What has been your greatest moment thus far in 2020? To come closer to my family after being hit by brain hemorrhage last November. I’m still recovering & it’s going slow & steady. Plus I’ve found some really great & genuine persons, whom I can call my friends. Both are equally my greatest momentS.
What are your three goals for 2020? I) To heal myself & to leave the layer of ego aside. II) Recover from brain hemorrhage (via exercising, ergo-physio therapies, writing poems, meditation & mindfulness). III) To go back to work, start slowly & use body, mind & soul as one unit, especially when my left arm & hand aren’t fully working at present.
What is your favorite movie of all time? Hindi movie – Sholay

Cheers…dear Anonymously Hal for nominating me. I’m truly honored & I whole heartedly appreciate your kind gesture. Thank you all for stopping by.

Much love ❤️🙏

Navin

Beast of the Beats

Original poetry

The heart is always singing & playing some fluctuating beats
Get ready coz I’m about to kill these crazy & deafening melodies
The beast is looking at me constantly while it’s feasting on my blood & meat
It’s tearing me apart in pieces, while I’m bleeding ink rapidly

The holes in me are dark & many, if you look in my head very closely
This darkness is slippery & is about to stick just like the thick grease on my grid
It feels as if I’m about to leave, to find my hell or be one with the heavenly
But I’ll not try to find the God, coz that pure energy lives inside of me

I know the beast can’t reach the core, from where I breathe & live in totality
But I don’t know how to breathe, coz the anxiety is kicking restlessly
I’m affected & shaking quite often after checking my recent prints on the computer screen
This beast is like a thief, who keeps stealing my vitality

I’m trying to blow positivity in my whole by therapy & self healing
All I need is to love, live & care from the deep in reality
Feel free to play judge & jury, but I don’t care what you actually think of me
I’m simply playing these beats to transform beast & its norm, so it stops preying on me, calamity

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Quarrel

Original poetry

These days I sit in silence
To avoid the quarrel
With those high sirens
To stop the violence
By not pointing the cold barrel
At my hot head to reduce the noise level

The imprint of my top shelf
Appears so dark from the shooting range
If you look closer, it’s in deep pain
My ground is covered with hot bullet shells
Ready to scream & layer my screen with thick red
The whole of me has uncountable dark spots, which make me spit lead

What have I become?
Why do I feel so frustrated?
Why is it still difficult to accept my new reality?
Why is my gun always loaded & pointing at me?
Why the feeling of pushing trigger to balance things?
Why am I wounded so badly?

Working hard to change my patterns
Life is on stake & is actually threatened
At times my body & mind are so drained
Difficult to find peace in that piece of frame
The feeling to drown in deep ocean to clean my stains
To heal my soul that has been bleeding since ages

Yeah, I can change all this with a blink
I’ve been working on this but sometimes patterns do stink
Building the physical & mental strength of my outer & inner skin
Trying to quit the quarrel & healing every particle of me
I’m burning in flames every single moment on this sacred journey
To form the new me from my ashes, the true being

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Related poem: Spinal con-fusion: a poem by a survivor (1)

Loving & Living

Original poetry

The flow of blood, that’s streaming
The flow of air, that’s breathing
The percussions of heart, that’s beating
The thoughts of someone, that feeling

Butterflies
Connecting
Dancing
Dreaming
Healing
Shining
Sighing
Singing
Smiling
LOVING

But then the lightning struck in its own beautiful form
The shields are up to protect & push away ones own reflection
Everything changes in that very moment, pure deflection
The lungs inflate & deflate heavily in this painful reaction

Crying
Emptiness
Longing
Missing
Restless
Sighing
Tearing
Thinking
Sadness
LIVING

It feels like the heart is burning in the ice cold furnace
Phrasing phase to face requires enormous courage
But this crazy love won’t disappear from the core & its blood surface
Love is the heart of this beautiful, light & dark universe

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Other: The Hidden Soul, Colors Say (1)

Rocking Emotions

Original poetry

My vision has become so Blurry

Coz I feel Broken inside

I’m one of those Heathens from the suicide squad

Who always ends up doing something Wrong

Even though I’m ready to offer the blood of My Sacrifice

The Pain I suffer in going through this all

When my right side of brain bleeds The Red

The left arm & hand become so Numb, I feel so sick

I still don’t know What I’ve Done

But I know somebody has stolen my heart just like that Car Radio

I just wish My Immortal will leave me alone one day

I’m doing everything to Bring Me To Life

To relive the Sweet Child O’ Mine

Coz it’s Never Too Late

To feel Alive once again

References:

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Related: The Poets Symphony. An anthology composed by 31 poets and artists. Inside you’ll find poems, lyrics, melodies and more all inspired by music (1)

Loosing It

Original poetry

I can feel I’m about to loose it
I’m still shaking inside but I’m about to shake everything
The emotion in me I’m gonna screw it
I’m about to change from missing it to mess it
Don’t come near me covered in gasoline, I’m gonna burn it
I’m a ticking bomb, so I might fuse it

I can’t take it anymore, it’s so abusing
I feel so mental, it shouldn’t have ended like this
I don’t get a lot of things, it still amuses me
One thing is for sure, I’m lost coz it’s still so confusing
I got hit below the belt & I don’t deserve this
I’m totally at different level now, so don’t try to play with me

I never said or meant those things, coz it never came out of my mouth
It was only about this virus but it seems I’m that virus spreading in your body
It’s too late now, just don’t try to figure me out
Coz it’s me this time, who’s letting myself out
I’m already gone, I know I won’t be missed at all

The thoughts are speeding in my head with the bleeding images
I’m in the mood to do maximum damage
The ignition is on & I’m on the rampage
I’m moving on this crazy path of total & sickening rage
I’ll crush everything, which stands in my way
So start moving away from my track before it’s too late
I’m talking in my head with my own brain, it’s so deranged

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Recommendation: The Perceptions Square – The Black Iron (1)

Coming for You – A Fantasy Poem

Original poetry

I’m coming for you & your bloody devilish mates
So you must start running as fast & faraway as you can
Before I start moving to you & catch you with my bare & strong hand

I’ll reach you & will find you, even if you hide in your secluded den
I can see, the demons are sitting with you as your very cool mates
But I’ll burn them all in a split second with this lazer sharp flame

If you won’t give up, then I’ll lock the heavy gates of this haunted place
If I have to, I’ll hammer your hands with long & sharp nails
If you still try to run, I’ll chain you with the heavy steel rings

I’ll snap your hand just like that little twig, so you can feel so much pain
Just stop running from me, else I’ll chop your legs with these sharp & edgy blades
I’ll cut your whole body into small pieces just like I cut wind & waves

You got to taste your own dark shade of bitterness as a pretty tasty snack
You can’t escape anymore from your own bloody fate
So stop dropping the sickening stories from your own filthy slate

You’ll find me everywhere coz I’m a part of you, I’m your crazy phase
Be real infront of me, just stop painting your own face
I’m simply writing a fantasy poem & it’s neither about the hurt nor hate

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Also see: The Secret Fantasy Poem (1). Two fantasy poems (2).