It’s the first time, I’ve used a part of the excerpt of my last poem “Surrender”, as it resonates so much with my present.
It’s like knowing the perfect recipe to heal
But I keep struggling to cook it to perfection, is what I truly feel
It’s just not the same story on auto-repeat
Snapping from time to time on my loving family
When I loose my patience & forget how to evenly breathe
Everything explodes in that moment into pieces with just a simple breeze
The photo collage on my real & tainted screen
Keep changing constantly from the shallow to the deep
As if I’m digging my own grave on my ground to hide in eternity
It’s driving me to the drive-in of pure insanity
Making me to cry, roar & then scream crazily
The love from my caring friends & loving family
The knitted meetings with the neuro psychologist weekly
Those amazing physio & ergo therapies from professional therapists
The great understanding & patience from my work colleagues
This compelling effect is pulling me out of my hell & anxiety
Building the mental & physical strength to supersede the weaker me
It’s setting “the uptight me” to the flames firely
Let me be & let me breathe before I dive from the top to fly freely
Is the mantra that I need to say to my-I quite frequently
This is how I live this life these days from the heart that’s beating the beads
I’m simply learning to heal the daunting dots inside & on top of me
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