imbalance – Navin's Poetry

The Sharp Edge

I’m freewriting in the dark with the diamond blade
The sharp edge is dancing wild with the lightning speed
The sparks of these lines re-form that lively phase
When I was drawn to this life on my dying slate
Hemorrhage had hammered my house in the surprising way
I was down on the floor when I finished eating my evening meal

I couldn’t rise & walk towards my grounded bed
I was struggling quite a lot with no balanced stance
So I began to slowly crawl with my warrior pace
While I was holding the drops from my sighing face
I was living that instance so raw from the shocking place
So I broke into small pieces & some enormous like the shiny vase

Tears did the crystal clear talk on my wavy stage
Fear started to poke delicate walls of my clotted brain
I couldn’t sleep under the sheet at all for several nights & days
That scene was running in slo-mo like the never ending race
I would replay & then simply pause to absorb & sense
It was an unbelievable moment after all of my reality check

The Universe was initiating a call to tell it’s time for a change
Coz I had been sleeping for too long in the shallow depths
I felt instantly I wasn’t resting anymore in the coffin case
That waking up call made me explore the enlightened space
Weakness in me to the core but I started to gain some strength
It’s time to transform my spots into the constellation of true self

This is pure sharing based on my experience…I’m neither suggesting anything nor giving any kind of advice…I’ve observed one thing about trauma in me that it doesn’t leave the body & the system…and perhaps, it will never…but the way I deal with it has changed…if I’m open to see it with the eyes of acceptance, understanding & compassion, then it doesn’t affect me with the same intensity as it used to…a mood swing is bare minimal…sometimes I do relive those scenes through the memory screen…but I don’t stop that “movie” instantly even when it’s not a nice place to be…the magical fireworks of healing has different colours, projections & decibels…it’s not necessarily a peaceful process…I feel, it’s better to see & observe the traumatic experience mindfully & let it slowly settle down than to simply block it…feel it, be with it & talk about it to the trusted dear ones and/or seek professional help if necessary…and of course, write poetry or choose another way to express it…

I’m simply sharing that hospital scene from 2019 in the form of this poetry…my purpose isn’t to gain sympathy nor am I feeling sorry for me…coz I know what I have…I have fully accepted it & I have made peace with it

To order my poetry book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here

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Do have a look at my Publications page.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

The Spectacles

Original poetry

Putting on the specs
To see the spectacles
It’s expected though
Socially fermented dough
People are sceptical, oh
They only see the septic world, no?

Everything seems so critical
Where everyone appears cynical
Striking innocents surgical
Wiping meanings clinical
Tweaking noise’s decibel
To make it sound logical

Cooking lies by chopping the raw
Growing fear by watering the hoax
Labelling dope as the antidote
Scripting wars on the storyboard
Polluting zones with pure ego
Twisting hope to a deadly rope

To order my poetry book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here

Check out my new YouTube channel here

Do have a look at my Publications page.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

Spoken Word – The Slate

Original poetry, Spoken Word

I simply felt that I needed to create spoken word of this poem, which is a part of my book – Lightning Rhymes…this is my longest spoken word till date…so please bear with me ✨💟💫

Music is created in GarageBand

To order my poetry book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here

Do check out my Publications page.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

Spoken Word Videos

You can check out my other Spoken Word videos by clicking here

The Floating Silence

Original poetry

It’s kinda crazy when I walk with almost an empty cartridge of this aching cartilage which is making me to lose my already weakened balance to the point of breakage but I still choose not to anchor myself to the hook of conditioned cottage coz all I want is to fall freely from the highest mountain to the deepest surroundings so I can easily harness the limitless energy when I erupt the volcanic traces of my carbonated phases in the floating silence of this oceanic darkness which is the effervescent & organic process to heal the righteous arthritis that’s trying to block the free movement of my invisible & powerful senses

The image version

To order my poetry book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here

Do check out my Publications page.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

The Lone Tree

Original poetry

My brain cells are circular stencils of different instances that keep swirling when I stand still

My pain cell that I’m caged in is appearing under the dark light on a rice sheet as I pencil

The visual of this projected engraving is caved in when I drone me to sea my senses

This heavy feeling is laminated under the thin film with cold heat of the sensitive relations

My blood streams very slowly when the noisy surroundings cross ways to wrong me

This reality is so astounding & extraordinary when I reel it on my mind screen

The balance is swinging on thin time string as my heart speaks with silent beats

My words leave the branches as the red leaves coz it’s the fall season of this lone tree

To order my poetry book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

Spoken Word – The Edge (republished)

Original poetry, Spoken Word

I’m sharing my very first spoken word, that I posted on 10th December 2020 on my WordPress blog. I don’t know why I’m doing so all of a sudden but there could be several reasons – from reminiscence to reflection.

The Edge is a poem about my struggles during that time. On 7th November 2019 I was hit by brain hemorrhage on the right side. Over 1 year had passed by but it was definitely not easy for me to fully accept, understand & live with this new reality. The feeling of broken & repaired at the same time. It just didn’t affect me alone but my surroundings as well, including the family. I could see this struggle on my inner screen as flow of images. So I decided to write those images in the form of this freestyle poetry. These words became so intense, at least in my head, that I felt like recording it in my voice. I didn’t know how to create spoken word back then. I didn’t bother searching it either coz I wanted to create this spoken word immediately, with whatever technical knowledge / tools I had. So I recorded my voice on my phone, created a Powerpoint presentation on my laptop, played the voice recording on it, timed the PP slides to sync with my voice & capture this all as a video through a free screen recorder software. I’m presenting the same original spoken word to you all.

Please put sound on…

I sit sharp on the edge of my bench in the dark with a hatchet in my hand to break open my senses & to claim that my pain in the veins is not vain but insane

But I get so mad & a bit sad when I spread metal scraps on myself coz then I bleed the beads so discreet on my crease to decrease the misery

So I feel quite shaky as if my skin is so thin like a leaf & it starts to burn instantly to create the debris that comes out from the heat of the seed

I’m torn at my core that I feel this need to ease & burn my peace into pieces on the street that’s filled with so many deep & some holes unseen

So I scream in infinity with my fluctuating beat coz I can’t simply breathe & it seems I’m the beast hinged to the scene of the shattered dream

I relapse on my screen coz this all feel so diseased when I see this degree of release & then I step explicitly into the bed of fire to become the deceased

But then I focus on to drop my sores with the source of my scope in this hope that one day I’ll for sure end this whole to simply blow everything to the pure

To order my poetry collection – Lightning Rhymes, please click here.

I published my book on 7th November 2021 – exactly 2 years after the bleeding. It’s my second birth or perhaps the first real one.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

Gunshots

Original poetry

Two men were talking outside
They weren’t agreeing on something, it’s obvious
It then turned into an open & heated quarrel
This picture changed its course right away
One of the men lost it coz he was unwired
His uneasy mind suddenly began to short circuit
The feeling to kill other guy, to make him forever quiet
He took his gun out & pointed it at this guy’s body

Pap Pap
Pause
Painful cry
And then
Pure silence
Gunshots were fired
Blood all over the place & now that man was quietly lying
He got shot on the street in broad daylight

Hang on with me to see another scene, I’m not just rhyming
A young kid got his eye on this piece of iron
His eyes were fixed on his automatic rifle
He’s not happy, so he was simply smiling
Deep down he’s actually something planning
He was visualizing the scene in his twisted mind
He looked at the firearms last time & he switched off the light
Next day was the very day he was gonna use the deadly toys
He checked everything meticulously in the morning
He drove to this school in his car filled with firearms
His eyes were dead, he was filled with pure violence
He got off the car loaded with bullets & rifle
He was walking in the hallway like the storm so soundless

Rat-Tat-Tat
Was the sound echoing in the sky
Several kids were wounded in the school this time
Some of them were already dead & some were slowly dying
The horrific bloody scene was so alive
Terror
Trauma
Fear
Panic
Screams
They were hiding & crying
At some point 911 was dialled
They said cops were on their way, they were soon arriving
The skies were then roaring with so many sirens
Police & ambulances were coordinating & tactically lining
The killer was still spraying bullets like water droplets
Maximum destruction in his head, he kept firing
Innocent kids covered in blood, they kept dying

Such horrendous incidents every other day has become so common
Pap Pap, Rat-Tat-Tat, Bang-Bang are the sounds so common
Killings due to disagreements, racism, mental instability & more are so common
Gun violence in the name of self protection is so common
This abnormal behaviour has become so bloody common
Every other person owns the gun is so very common
Government condenm such incidents & then move on is so very common
Empty talks but no action is the scene so very common

The superpower on the surface of this world but truly powerless at the bottom
Not providing a decent life to the citizens ain’t no superpower
Trillions of dollars on warfare but poor for own people is the problem
Not looking at the root cause to see why this all is happening is the problem
Walking blindly on the river of blood & tears is the huge problem
Accepting this so very common phenomenon is the very problem
40 k per year on an average dying alone in USA due to crazy gun violence
When is it ever gonna end, why are people so helpless & blinded?
Open your eyes to bring that change, you’ve got the power

Every single life matters!

There are n number of different scenarios…I’m highlighting only 2 of them…this poem is purely my view…there’s no political agenda…all I’m saying is that this gun violence needs to end…love is all we are & we have…

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

Blessing

Original poetry

You can call me brain dead
Coz I’ve got some vain veins
Countless spots in the insane scans
They look like microscopic yin-yangs
If I describe their transparent appearance

You might stare at me why I’m showcasing this story
It’s just my way to walk on this unending staircase mindfully
It’s my way to create the space, it’s sort of my own therapy

Brain hemorrhage on the right side had brought me to 3 hospitals in 2019
I was told I was close to die when the neurosurgeon detected a second bleeding
This critical sickness had loaded me with a new baggage of mental instability
I had to relearn how to sit, stand, move, focus, sense, grip through different therapies
The nights were crazy tough with restlessness, body pain & arrows in my head feeling

Now let me switch off the lights to show you a sparked scene
One day I was sitting on a chair in my hospital room to eat my evening meal
Later I wanted to simply relax after taking those heavy pills
But I fell off my chair when I tried to stand up on my unsteady feet
I took the chair down as well coz I had absolutely no balance in me

I was struggling to elevate myself with no tactile sensation in my left arm & hand
So I started to slowly crawl on the floor towards my elevation bed
The climb to reach my bed was hard as if I were climbing the Mount Everest
Sweat on my face but I did pull myself up against the gravitational shreds
At this point I realized, I was very sick & quite damaged

I started to ask several questions to myself
Would I be able to speak with the same depth?
Would I be able to walk without losing the balance?
Would I be able to work just like the old days?
Would I be there for my loving family?
Or am I nearing the death bed, this is it – the end?
Tears began to fall coz the new state wasn’t easy to comprehend

Trip-Track was the subconscious sign prior to the bleeding I visioned
It’s a poem that came to me before this all actually happened
I felt the bleeding had a purpose, there was definitely a deeper reason
Perhaps the highest source had decided to reset my seasons
Perhaps it wanted to shock & shake me to awaken my senses

So now you know why I’m sharing this old incident
It’s not about gaining sympathy or feeling sorry for myself
It’s to see above & beyond the eye’s strength
It’s about the deeper calling & to embrace the present
It’s a blessing that I’m still wearing this body as a sacred present

To order my poetry collection – Lightning Rhymes, please click here ✨

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

Reliving

Original poetry

I’m reliving tonight the old story
New details but absolutely no flooring
My scene isn’t sharp coz it’s very blurry
Looking downstairs is difficult, it’s pretty scary
Struggling with balance, so I walk slowly
Small explosions in my head are kinda crazy
So I pack my things while I’m so thirsty
Coz I’ve called the number & I’m quite ready

My face is stiff like skintight denim
Ambulance is on it way, it’s soon comin’
Paramedics popping questions & I’m up summing
Suffocated behind mask but I’m still breathing
No energy in me, I just wanna slip in
Driving to hospital, ambulance is reaching the drive-in
Thoughts are running while I’m buckled & resting
Am I on my way to get a new bleeding?

2.5 day later I found out (after tests, scanning & examinations), there were no signs of new bleeding.

If you liked my poem – Reliving, please like & comment here.

You may also like to read Trip-Track & Bleeding Numbers

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

For more information, I encourage you to check the Home and About me pages.