Bleeding Numbers

So now I understand why I felt the need to write Trip-Track a few days earlier. On 7th Nov at around 9:30 am I was rushed to the hospital. I didn’t understand what was going on. Those sirens & zig-zag tour in ambulance while I was writing sms to find out who’s gonna pick my kids up from school. My wife was supposed to come home same evening to be with us for the weekend but then she never went back. I was hit by brain haemorrhage on the right side. My left arm & hand is numb. Epileptic attack was the next to follow 3 days from bleeding. Amidst this chaos, I was trying to find the inner peace.

Loosing my grip & feeling numb is quite a rubbery feeling in my flesh
Speeding in ambulance at the speed of light as I loose my stance
Noisy sirens chasing the streets as if I’m becoming so discreet in those lanes
Bleeding inside of brain is so draining and is pure insane

CT & MR show the big spots & some huge round clot in my scans
Paralysis in left arm, hand & left side of face, simply can’t comprehend
Not able to lift my arm & fingers is quite noticeable challenge
Epileptic cramps on the left side of face & arm as they are about to harm my brain

But I’m not about to loose without giving myself a chance to withstand
I’ll wrestle back my arm to let loose the heavens, the storm if I can
I must find my inner peace & my inner calm to fallback at this space
Family, friends, & job matter the most – that’s the ultimate strength
I’ll fight back to finally come back from the horrors of the graves
This is my promise, I won’t rest – it’s dawn of fire, my roar, it’s the scream from my den

If you liked this poem, please like & comment here.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Reflection Hologram

In the reflection hologram poem I’m writing about my reflection, how I see & read things. It’s an art to find peace while you’re standing outside in the stormy weather. I’m projecting the deeper dimension & heart connection.

These days my best friend is reflection
But there’s no deflection from the sense perception
Simply sensing the vibrations from several different creations
And finding peace in the middle of heavy explosions 
Being conscious is what it takes to loose the cautions 
This isn’t some cinematic fiction, it’s just an observation 
It’s the pure affection with that unknown relation
Where there are no diversions & no manipulation
This reflection takes me to the greater depths beyond imagination

It seems as if this world has tremendously changed 
Changed is the scene when I walk outside in the heavy rain
Perhaps my reality has built another picture frame
Perhaps the meaning of life for me isn’t the same
Perhaps I can see the deeper dimensions projected on my screen
Perhaps I can see my reflection in everyone I look at, a thought insane
Perhaps I can relate to the pain of every single face that passes by my lane
This picture is so intense than the trillion stars in the outer space
Reflection is what I’m reflecting, it’s the hologram of my inner space

If you liked this poem, please like & comment here.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.


This poem is called keywords. It’s about my conviction that it’s never too late for anything. That’s the main message. No matter how many patterns & issues you’re surrounded with, you always have a choice to bring a change. Most of the people are so much occupied with the Self that they forget that there’s also the Being, which is the real face of a living creature. Openness, connection to heart is the condition.

Crazy I am
Anger I had
Aggressive I sound
Calmness I embrace
Reflections I see
Shadows I have
Darkness I sense
Fluctuations I face
Phases I phrase
Rhymes I bleed
Intensity I air
Truth I care
Confrontations I dare
Heart I share
Upright I stand

Openness you lock
People you block
Eyes you close
Heart you hide
Shield you wear
Defense you choose
Stories you tell
Words you misinterpret
Lines you delete
Reality you deny
Essence you miss
Self you see
Mind you talk
Time to change
It’s never too late

If you liked this poem, please like & comment here.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Beam Intensity

This is the poem about my younger kid, who’s having quite difficult time. Infantile autism is a disorder, which requires proper care, understanding, structure, knowledge & most importantly an open heart. It’s been quite tough but the whole family is learning quite a lot from this little zen master.

I can feel insanely when you beam intensity
One moment you are tranquil like that vast blue sea
And the next, I see you devastated in every single scene
Hitting & struggling to run away, when you can’t stop throwing a fit
You see, it’s the world, that seems to me a complete misfit
The world disappears instantly when I hold you in my arms & you can’t stop hitting me with your fist
I don’t mind when you scratch my surface, to make my skin burn & bleed
You are simply penetrating the layers, to make me realize & feel
The pain & imbalance when things aren’t the way you actually dreamed
I see you so clearly that I become one with your very being
It’s the heart connection, where I can only see your big eyes & your delicate screen
All I wish to give you is that space, where you don’t suffocate & scream
I’ll beat at your pace to relocate inside of you the peace
Even when you take me sometimes to this place, where it’s difficult for me to breathe
The biggest lesson that you’ve been teaching, is to find calmness in such sensitive scenes
I love you from the deepest, you are my blessing, you are the beautiful pure being

If you liked this poem, please like & comment here.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Grasp Rings

This poem is about sensing the ripples due to my previous poems. It’s like there’s silence before the storm. I know my poem made an impact, as I feel blacklisted. I don’t care though as I believe in true to myself. My words can cut the stone but I don’t write my lines to take revenge. I write to say that I know what happened back then & I can sense how you feel about it. I will always express what I feel, bleed & the beats I create.

I can feel this
You decided to block scene
After you discussed & talked things  
I know you felt my writing
You meant, it wasn’t the right thing
But you didn’t play the right strings
I know you don’t like the wordings
Crawling through my verses
Honestly, it didn’t shock me
To sense how your mind thinks
But it would never stop me
To jot when I realize things
Coz I don’t ever write themes
To like me or to like them

I simply spread ink that my mind bleeds
To express emotions when my soul screams
To scribble stories when my heart speaks
I don’t like anymore to play hide & seek
When I can see that light seam 
From my scarred screen in the dark field 
Truth can sometimes burn the outer skin
To unravel the flames of inside scenes

I really don’t mind this
Even if you grind minds
But you’ll never reach mine
There is never a timeline 
To read those fine lines
It’s never about the limelight 
I talk about the life size
People ought to sideline
And they can’t define the divine
Which is not some sci-fi
You see, I don’t believe in sigh-fight

If you want me to spice this
To write some more & rhyme things
Define & decide your own deeds
Just don’t be anyone’s sidekick
And it’s not a crime if
I offer you flavored ice tea
Breathe deep while you close your eyelid
To calm your mind, like that divine sea

Sense what’s your I size
Just don’t rely alone on your eyesight
Coz it’s all about our heart beats
But only if you can grasp rings
When a drop hits, the O(cean) sings
When a heart opens, the whole syncs
Mind isn’t always the bright zing
Put a lid on the Self & let free the heart Being

If you liked this poem, please like & comment here.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Flashing Lights

It’s a mixed story of joy, happiness, courage, family pressure, sadness, pain, suffering & trauma. Those flashing lights are imprinted in me. It’s simply a pure sharing.

Imagine this scene
It happens on one evening 
I’m around 7 years
I’m feeling happy at the airport
And I’m with my elder sister, younger brother, 
Parents and my uncle 
My younger brother looks so happy
He’s not even 18 months old
He’s bearing that sweet smile
He’s walking around
An unknown guy gave him a rupee bill
He thought too this kid was cute 
The kid’s smile & walk was simply so charming
And those curls would just add more cuteness
This kid is walking at the airport 
Holding that rupee bill in his hand
While my eyes are fixed at him
But then he returns back to us
Without that bill in his hands
Perhaps he had lost it
Perhaps he gave it to someone
But it’s immaterial
This day seemed the happiest day
It’s my first time at the airport with family

But then a sudden shift in this scene
The next moment 
The uncle is walking away with this cute kid
My li’l brother
I’m standing & thinking 
What’s happening at this moment? 
Why is my bro leaving?
Where are they going?
They walked away from us
I don’t see my brother & uncle anymore
They have disappeared all of a sudden
After a while, there’s pure silence
After some time, I see a plane on the runway
From the big airport windows
It’s speeding up & is about to take off
The plane’s lights are flashing 
And it’s roaring just like when it thunders
My eyes are fixed at this plane
The flashing lights & that crazy loud noise
I’m fascinated but also confused
I can’t see how my sister is feeling 
I can’t see how my parents are reacting
I’m blinded by that moment 
Speechless in shock
I feel like running after that plane 
To get my brother 
But after a few seconds 
The plane disappears in the sky 
With my brother 
All I see are the flashing lights
All I can hear is the roaring sky

Everything changes after that moment 
I am in deep shock
But then I don’t remember anything
I simply can’t recall 
But my family told me
After several years
I was very sad
I was crying a lot
I was angry 
I was in shock
I was asking questions to my parents 
I had lost my brother 
But no one would tell me 
The real reason
As if my parents had promised not to
All I heard for years 
Were different stories
For many years 
I didn’t know the real reason 
Infact for decades, I wasn’t aware
But when the real story was told
I couldn’t believe it
But then I could figure out more
Started putting the pieces together
Started going back in time
By replaying the scenes
In my head
Whatever I remembered
Why things were happening 
When they happened 

Just imagine to be that big brother 
Who looses the younger one 
And doesn’t know anything more
For several years
Why he was taken away?
Just the stories
Till this day
And I’m 46 now
I still hear the stories
But I know the truth 
I’m not even sharing
How the rest of the family felt
For several years
How they still feel about it

Can you feel my story?
Could your parents do the same?
To make a sacrifice this big?
To bring their own family 
To a state of shock
To traumatize their own lives 
Till their last breath
I hope not

I’m a father
I can’t even imagine 
In my wildest imaginations 
To give away one of my kids 
For the sake of helping
Another family member
I don’t have that kind of courage
I can’t do that kind of sacrifice
I will never
It’ll break me into pieces
That very instant
Imagine how that kid would feel
At that time
Do you have the courage & compassion
To give away your own child?
I hope not

I feel my parents pain & suffering 
So strongly 
After I’ve become a parent myself 
They never forgot that scene
And how could they?
They gave away their own kid
To help plant the seed of happiness 
In return of sorrow & trauma

When I was about to leave 
My motherland
The first thing I heard 
From my mother was
Now he has taken 
Another son as well
It is not true though
It was my own decision
No one forced me
But it showed me so clearly 
Her trauma & pain
It was not hate
It wasn’t anger
It brought her back
To the moment 
When she had to 
Give away her son 
Several years back
She felt so intensely
That it’s happening 
To her once again
She couldn’t speak 
For over an year 
From the time 
I left my motherland
Not more than “yes” & “no”
Or simply nodding
She was numb
She was reliving her shock

I used to tell her
Whenever I talked to her
Whenever I visited her
It was my own decision 
No one has taken me 
Away from you
No one can
But her reactions were
Or a simple nod
That’s it
She was apparently 
At another place 
In her mind & heart
Daddy used to be quiet
He won’t say 
Such things to me
He was protecting me 
And his own wife
But I saw the sadness 
In his eyes
It was painful 
To see those eyes
They said more than 
His real words

I can still see in my head 
That runway on that evening
Where the plane is about to take off
While I’m running desperately after it
But the plane simply took off 
I couldn’t stop it
It’s dissecting 
The chest of the sky 
Those intense beats 
Those flashing lights
It still feels like 
Someone is about to
Cut open my chest…the roaring sky 
With a sharp knife…the plane
The fire…the flashing lights
Is it my trauma…my pain?

But don’t misunderstand me
I’m not sharing 
To get any sympathy
Don’t feel sorry
I’m not here to hate anyone
I don’t wish to put the blame either
No, I don’t claim anything
I don’t believe in claims
What did I bring with me 
In this Universe
That I need to claim?
It’s the other way around
It’s the Universe 
Who brought me here
Universe is full of Love
Universe is Love
Love is Universe

But I need this 
I need to share this story
To let it go
From every single particle 
Of my body
This is my scream
This is my cry
To release the pain 
To bring an end 
To those stories  
To those lies
So I can breathe freely
So I can find peace
So I can restructure my pieces
So I can free the souls
From sorrow & trauma 
When they lived 
In the form of human bodies
That’s all 

If you liked this poem, please like & comment here.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

No Grudge

I knew my poem Fading Bonds would make some sound. I knew it’ll be taken into the wrong context coz how I dared open my mouth. My main message was – be real and stop telling stories, lies, fantasies & the fake good deeds. In the end, some of the family members did understand when I was confronted face to face.

No, I haven’t been holding a grudge, you see  
And hate is not at all in me
I don’t hide or carry the guns with me
It’s not about some revenge or claiming anything
All I wanted you to feel that untold & painful scene
Where greens weighed more than respect, love & the family links 
That wasn’t fair, no it wasn’t to your youngest sibling
So here I am once again to clear the air that we breathe
First, you need to understand just a very simple thing
It was never about the glitters or the greens that you think
Fading Bonds was tough but I know, I did the right thing
But I could hear from the start, you didn’t get my writing
Coz recently, I had to hear about the death, the dowry & the spending
But I don’t need to bend things to tell this 
It sounded more like a self defense than to sense things
It seemed as if I should be thankful for all those deeds
That happened back then when I wasn’t born, no I wasn’t even an offspring
You see, if you step on some feet deliberately
It would make the heart to pain & bleed eventually
When that feet belonged to the same herd in reality
I saw back then the eyes, that were cold & the dance, it was shocking
I felt the every bit as if those bonds were actually mocking
It was there I sensed family was just a word with no deep meaning
That scene is imprinted in me & I can play every moment from that reel
But I’m trying to erase it from the memory, to not feel what I felt for real
My verses were purely about that punishment versus dignity 
All I had a simple question to answer with honesty
Why to humiliate & punish the youngest one among those 6 siblings?
It was about her suffering when your love was somewhere hiding
That’s the main scene, that’s all I was depicting 
It was about sensing things than to sending greens
But the focus was on how it was back then
Where I could smell some sort of guilty feeling
Let me tell you another thing while I’m here & writing 
Even her biggest sacrifice was framed into deranged tale, that I’ve been hearing  
How come no one could see this since decades, what has been happening?
Twists & turns on a straight lane, perhaps the minds are leaning 
Let it fade now, let go the Lies, the fake story telling
Closing eyes don’t make things to disappear with a blink
And keeping silence for years doesn’t make a human weak
You see, life is love in different forms & feels
That is what we all are in our true real beings 
Love is all one needs to live & breathe
And greens look beautiful in different form of leaves 
So let’s live from the deep & be that human, that very being
Finding peace amidst storms is my way to define things
Being real for real, it’s the ultimate spiritual bliss

If you liked this poem, please like & comment here.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

The Devil’s Face

It’s my poem of horrors if you simply read the words. But if you dig deeper, it’s not about the blood bath. It’s about showing the real face, which we tend to hide to give the fake appearance of looking happy & great. To me, it’s not a scary poem, it’s a sacred one – a different art form.

The desire to rip off the devilish face

Pump the blood out of the bloody arteries & veins

Need to burn the body in intense fire & flames

Slice the remains in sharp pieces & small scales

Cut the bones with saw, the sharp rotating chain

Everything collapses, no screams & there’s no pain

Cook the flesh in thick blood till it’s tender & changes its shade

Finding the demons that reside in haunted & crumbled shed

Hiding behind the intense & provocative lens

Made of complex geometries with that improperly proper base

This scene looks so scary from your narrow & twisted lane

There’s a fine line between your sane & my insane

Feel the heat, I’m not here to dig your grave

The gory imagination is an art of this devil, the creative brain

Just show the true you, that’s living behind your face

If you liked this poem, please like & comment here.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

Blinking Ph(r)ase

I’m simply staring at the blinking cursor on my dark screen. It’s similar to my blinking phase in this very moment. I’m restless, scared, quite anxious and panicking as I don’t know whether I would be able to be alone with my kids for 3 months while my wife is studying in another country. But it’s not about putting blame on her as it’s not about her at all. I’m doubting myself & my capabilities. It’s the testing time for me to show I can take care. I’m trying to find the patience, peace – my grounding, as my mind is thinking military. The discipline I need to take care of 2 kids from early morning til I put them to bed & having a full time job, that’s normally full of deadlines. Not a big deal fir several single parents but I feel, our situation quite unique. So I’m kind of terrified but somehow, I’m able to stand on my ground.

Staring at the blinking cursor on this dark page
Feel the need to sprinkle brilliant dark dust from my scarred phrase
Even in darkness, I can see the reflection of my manic face
But it’s my perception, coz this is just a frantic phase

I can already feel the intensity
Tomorrow is going to bring the sensitivity
Things are going to change dramatically
The gravity has started shifting enormously
Feeling scared in the scarcity of the sacred serenity


These aren’t some random words, you might not understand the half of it
But if you connect them all, you would see S.C.A.R.E.D.
It’s already so real for me but I’m not ready to loose & forfeit
The demon of anxiety is dancing on the blood surface & giving me fits 
And I can’t see & sense the ground under my burning cold feet

Nerves are controlling me from time to time 
That’s what you’ve been reading in some of my ryhmes
Thoughts have started knocking the door of my mind
Asking me questions imprinted on my wrecked slides

Will I make it all the way or break in the middle?
Will I bear it till the end or sweat blood as I progress?
Will I be able to absorb it all or panic & become anxious?
Will I sense every moment or loose in a second my breath?

So many questions are shooting in my head
But I can’t find the answers, not just yet
So I decide to take the small steps to feel safe
To see the impressions on my path that I walk with respect

But then I sense my real senses
That bring me out of the situations in my verses
That has been throwing curves, a few of them reversing
It’s the real life scene with zero rehearsals

The grounding resets everything in an instant
Shows me the place where I intend to stay & stand
It reconnects me to the peace, where I don’t suffocate
And brings my pieces back to the real & true state
Where my form is formless & perfectly inaccurate 
Where my situations vanish just like the ghost from this page
Where scared state changes into sacred space

If you liked this poem, please like & comment here.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.

A Kiss from The Devil

It’s my romance with the devil in the formless form of pain, panic & anxiety. I’m simply surrendering myself to this sensual devil, letting “her” bite me to make me bleed. I’m simply not afraid. On the contrary, I’m very much attracted as I’m really feeling the heat and therefore, the words are flowing in me, just like the blood on this tainted floor. Horror & romance can go side by side.

Whisper kiss of yours 
On my lips is crazy
You’re the devil
Sitting next to me
Covered in pure beauty
You’re so sharp & curvy
Curving the formless at me
Confronting the demons in me

Panic is summoned
Anxiety is entering
I’m now willing 
To kiss your evil
To breathe you in me
Your eyes are burning
Your hunger is thirsty
Your teeth are feasting

My flesh is beasted
The blood is streaming
It’s all so dirty
My neck is tainted
The floor is painted 
Your hold has tightened
But I’m not frightened
You are so enchanting 

The impression of yours
Tattooed on my neck
Deep pain is agony
I want you desperately
To pain me tremendously
To draw your devil on me
With the red ink I bleed
Ecstasy is creeping

Enlightened by your devil
Tormented from head to toe
Fragmented is my peace
This picture is so lively
But if you can’t sense it
Then it’s insanely deadly
I’m loving every moment
A kiss from the devil

If you liked this poem, please like & comment here.

You may also follow @navinspoetry_ on Instagram.

© 2019 Navin’s Poetry. All rights reserved.