I’m reliving tonight the old story New details but absolutely no flooring My scene isn’t sharp coz it’s very blurry Looking downstairs is difficult, it’s pretty scary Struggling with balance, so I walk slowly Small explosions in my head are kinda crazy So I pack my things while I’m so thirsty Coz I’ve called the number & I’m quite ready
My face is stiff like skintight denim Ambulance is on it way, it’s soon comin’ Paramedics popping questions & I’m up summing Suffocated behind mask but I’m still breathing No energy in me, I just wanna slip in Driving to hospital, ambulance is reaching the drive-in Thoughts are running while I’m buckled & resting Am I on my way to get a new bleeding?
2.5 day later I found out (after tests, scanning & examinations), there were no signs of new bleeding.
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Eyes wet Mind heavy Can’t breathe Throat choked Senses numbed Fluctuating beats
Speechless as I speak Reflections I truly see Crystals are still green Staring at those scenes Memories on my screen The heart simply bleeds
The voice of yours is stuck in me The lines you used to write to me The song that you did sing for me The picture is burnt deep inside of me The finger twitches as I type in anxiety The silence fills the air through my poetry
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I’m sharing a very sad news….I’ve come to know that Astha’s soul has left her body on 30th April….she was fighting against covid-19….I used to read her poems, whenever she would post on WP….she was also compiler of an upcoming anthology – Utmost Feelings….I was one of the co-writers….so I was in touch with her on / off….through the whatsapp anthology group as well….that’s how I’ve come to know about this when Taruchaya – one of the co-writers pinged me & shared this sad news….the feeling of being numb & shock was instant….the last time she wrote to me was on 23rd April, where she said, her condition was bad & she would revert back in a few days….I texted her on 28th April to know how she was feeling….but no reply….it’s still hard to believe that such a young woman isn’t with us anymore….if that wasn’t enough, her mother has passed away as well due to covid-19….I can’t even imagine how her father, brother & other family members must be going through….
This short poem is dedicated to dear Astha….
My silence is screaming My heart is bleeding My eyes are flowing My thoughts are heavy
I look up at the dark sky A star is shining bright A beautiful soul In heaven
You looked at me With those intense eyes You smiled at me With those beautiful lips You cried with me With tears in your eyes You held me tight With those earthly arms You gave me space With that loving heart You were there for me With those meaningful words The impression of you Is permanent in me
The energy from the moment Has struck me deep The sole purpose of you Was to look deeper into me Where Pain & Agony Were the different forms of Love Where Spirituality was the only Reality Where there was space for Anxiety Where things were as they are Where Manipulation was very far I am no one But the reflection of you I see myself in you When you look into me
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