I hear this anxiety is escalating slowly on my top floor While silence is hiding under the pillow from the screaming thoughts Restlessness has started filling my rough surface with the titanium foam I’m breathing heavily & shivering but it’s not coz it’s freezing cold So I start kneading my feet against each other to feel the needed warmth My body is gradually curling under the duvet in the consoling C form Anxiety is shaking me with this weird feeling of being the immortal corpse
It’s exhausting & daunting to choose this path to be all alone But my mind is fighting constantly while the heart has chosen to let it go My fluid eyes are wired to this immersive scene where I lay on bed & freely float I let anxiety travel inside of me without allowing it to absorb the shiny core It’s pinpointing these tiny dots on its way to create a meaningful flow This movement is painful but it’s better than to cage anxiety in the concealed box So I’m mindfully reconnecting to the silence where there’s no need to speak anymore
To order my poetry book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here
What does music mean to me? What’s the rhythm & melody? What’s the meaning of its lyrics? What’s the depth & its beauty?
It’s like when the blood in my veins is playing the riffs When the heart of mine is thundering drum beats When the eyes of mine blink the hi-hat When the brain of my self is synthesizing & compiling the different sounds
Silence is the lyrics that I write for this unique song Deep voice I possess to sing my own lyrics It’s blowing the self away & melting down the lead in me It’s pushing me beyond my own untested & untrusted limits
Lightness & Darkness are the effects I use on my sound stage & screen Connecting with my inner audience, which was once forgotten behind my scene I’m lost in this divine music that unites me with the energy of the unseen This is the salient sound of my inner music
To order my poetry book – Lightning Rhymes, please click here
I’m sharing my very first spoken word, that I posted on 10th December 2020 on my WordPress blog. I don’t know why I’m doing so all of a sudden but there could be several reasons – from reminiscence to reflection.
The Edge is a poem about my struggles during that time. On 7th November 2019 I was hit by brain hemorrhage on the right side. Over 1 year had passed by but it was definitely not easy for me to fully accept, understand & live with this new reality. The feeling of broken & repaired at the same time. It just didn’t affect me alone but my surroundings as well, including the family. I could see this struggle on my inner screen as flow of images. So I decided to write those images in the form of this freestyle poetry. These words became so intense, at least in my head, that I felt like recording it in my voice. I didn’t know how to create spoken word back then. I didn’t bother searching it either coz I wanted to create this spoken word immediately, with whatever technical knowledge / tools I had. So I recorded my voice on my phone, created a Powerpoint presentation on my laptop, played the voice recording on it, timed the PP slides to sync with my voice & capture this all as a video through a free screen recorder software. I’m presenting the same original spoken word to you all.
Please put sound on…
I sit sharp on the edge of my bench in the dark with a hatchet in my hand to break open my senses & to claim that my pain in the veins is not vain but insane
But I get so mad & a bit sad when I spread metal scraps on myself coz then I bleed the beads so discreet on my crease to decrease the misery
So I feel quite shaky as if my skin is so thin like a leaf & it starts to burn instantly to create the debris that comes out from the heat of the seed
I’m torn at my core that I feel this need to ease & burn my peace into pieces on the street that’s filled with so many deep & some holes unseen
So I scream in infinity with my fluctuating beat coz I can’t simply breathe & it seems I’m the beast hinged to the scene of the shattered dream
I relapse on my screen coz this all feel so diseased when I see this degree of release & then I step explicitly into the bed of fire to become the deceased
But then I focus on to drop my sores with the source of my scope in this hope that one day I’ll for sure end this whole to simply blow everything to the pure
To order my poetry collection – Lightning Rhymes, please click here.
I published my book on 7th November 2021 – exactly 2 years after the bleeding. It’s my second birth or perhaps the first real one.
Recently, I had this lovely opportunity to work with my dear friend, Lauren of Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose, to write & record a piece together. Lauren is a poet, painter, violinist and above all, a wonderful, sweet & kind being. Please visit her blog, where you’ll find her heartfelt, soulful, raw poetry, prose & spoken word and her beautiful artwork. My gratitude to Lauren for reaching out to me, to make this happen.
The breaths I take The steps I sway When I dance on my feet My ground is change
The heights I stare The case is space The light has shades The dark isn’t just pain
I see the sane When I saw the chain I tear the deep When I drop the waves
The colours I blend The Universe I paint The eyes then glare The divine through pen
I expand upon an inner sense of personal justice social soul well meant
I know I know the ability for personal growth
is well rooted deep within, for every passing second my efforts are tirelessly sown,
my chest expands my heart, it flows rich with breath, mighty effort stallion-like strength – continuous insistence, and sound temperament.
our steps in time pirouetting groundwork yours and mine
our knowledge together brought closely in life we stare down the precipice and soar, divine,
unknowingly yet aware we become entwined intent and more this World we explore
for reaching our Universe’s heights sights and sounds enriching our abilities our minds implore.
Violin track & artwork by Lauren and video & sound editing by myself.
I’m honoured & delighted to announce that my poem, Fluid Lines is published on Spillwords.com. My gratitude to Director of Development (Editing Department) & the whole Spillwords’ team for reviewing & selecting my poem.
I am delighted & honoured to announce that my latest poem, Naked & Rough Skin, is now available at MasticadoresUSA as well. My utmost gratitude to dear Gabriela Marie Milton, and the team at MasticadoresUSA for publishing this piece. This is the first time ever, I’ve submitted my poem to a literary journal.
Naked & Rough Skin
Please don’t breathe on me with ease Coz I’m gonna freeze your breeze with my heat
You seem to see me as if I’m a treat But I’m here to trick your deeds with chills of my screams….